It started with me on the upper deck of a huge sports bar and the employees were just starting to put a large plastic tarp over the enormous television screen, which indicated that it was probably going to rain soon. The TV must have been at least 10'x10' and with a screen that large I wondered if they had hired someone on JUST to monitor the weather.


I went inside and met a guy sitting on the couch. He was one of these shady, unattractive, unkempt bar slugs who had nothing of value to offer the world and still thought way too highly of himself which is a lethal combination.


Next I found myself in the upstairs room of a large house in the midst of a party but as I sat a the desk it occurred to me that I was at work. A woman came over to the desk and asked if I could print off something from her flash drive (which is quite common) and I explained that we could not do this as per hotel policy but that she was more than welcome to use the business center (which is true).


She proceeded to jam the card into the USB slot and said "See, it works!" and I just lost it. I started screaming as loud as I could and I didn't care what the repercussions might be. "I TOLD you I couldn't do it and yet you insist on doing it anyways? WHO does something like that?!"


I realized that she could still get me in trouble so I offered to take her to the business center in he hopes that she would say "No I'm an adult so I can do this on my own" but of course she didn't because everyone leaves their common sense at home when on vacation.


I walked her through a huge mall full of people and down into the basement and just before we stepped into the business center room I saw Kasia follow us down. The woman and I went into the room and I closed the door behind me and as we started setting the computer up I remembered Kasia was still outside. When I opened the door she was stripped down to her underwear and I was taken back by this. When I turned around the woman was now on a bed with the creepy bar slug and before I knew it Kasia was crawling up near him assuming she had just walked into a pre-planned foursome.


The girl had now taken off her panties and was lying on her stomach giving me a perfect view of her extremely hairy ass (almost werewolf like) and as much as I wanted to bury my face in it I was much too focused on keeping Kasia from handing her goods over to a man who I (and she too if she had spoken even a word to him) had zero respect for.


The party switched to an upper level area that hovered high above a lake and there must have been at least 100 people up there drinking and getting loosened up. Kasia went downstairs to get something so I threw her my pants and the keys fell out and almost fell into the water. Kasia removed all of her clothes before coming back up and I was so happy to see this side of her again as it seems I never do anymore.


I was worried about not having enough booze and then remembered I had a small bottle of rum that Kasia had brought along. This was going to be a good night.

I dreamt about a young boy who walks around his house drawing over the same line he had been doing for years. He was beaten by the police and when I went to interview him he pointed out all of the different layers. "At first I would just cut the walls and then I used chalk and then I used marijuana and now I use blood."


The mom said She was going to clean it up but decided against it.

I was on a road trip with Kasia and my phone constantly running out of power. Early one morning we had stopped on the side of the road and I ran across the street to the supermarket while Kasia waited in the car. I had a coupon for a free carton of cigarettes with the purchase of a carton and the lady helping me seemed confused about how to handle it. I scanned the various brands and decided it best to go with Marlboro reds since they would be the easiest to resell. The saleswoman disappeared and I was left standing there for around (what seemed like) ten minutes before becoming impatient and asking someone else to assist me.

Moments later an old school friend Craig L. approached me wearing the supermarkets uniform and I could tell he recognized me but was too busy to say hello. He looked annoyed and must have felt bad for my situation because he grabbed a large box of cigarettes off the shelf and handed them to me, saying "here, just
take these."

I could immediately tell there were more than 20 packs inside and I blurted out "Are you sure?" but he was gone before I could get an answer. On my way out I noticed that some of the packs were in rough shape and some were even opened with cigarettes falling out of them and I figured this was supposed to be a return box. Plus they were Marlboro Lights (which looked more like Benson & Hedges) so I was worried they would be harder to resell.

Next, we were riding on a little train that ran along a track about 20 feet off the ground. It ran through a forest and along the way we passed some amusement parks and I mentioned how awesome it would be if they were open 24 hours a day. Then it occurred to me that this wouldn't be possible since the animals needed to sleep and then I thought of them trying unsuccessfully to sleep as our train shamelessly roared by.

Eventually I figured out that we were on our way to a Packers game being held at Lambeau Field. I had an extra ticket so I decided to give it to my old workmate Mike C. since he's a big fan and I haven't seen him in ages.

 Before we arrived at the game my entire family stopped off at a shopping mall which had to be accessed by going through an abandoned amusement park and I thought it might be fun to come back and take pics of all the run down amusement parks I had seen that night.

My parents went into the store while my sister and I stayed near the entrance and played vintage arcade games. One of them involved a wheel that spun around with paint stir sticks attached to it. Each stick had
a number written on it and the object was to punch off the sticks with matching numbers until all pairs were knocked off the wheel. When we got into the store I saw dad chasing around a giant squid and he was so annoyed that he couldn't catch it. It was twice the size of him but it didn't seem to deter him. Finally, one of the workers caught it and brought it over to a large pool where he seemed to enjoy
himself. He was making noises like a dolphin and his eyes were wide and smiling and no one had the heart to tell him that this pool would eventually heat up to a boiling point where he would be cooked and
eaten.

It was beautifully sad and the store employee and I stood filming it on our iphones until my phone went dead.

I was living in a huge house that was set up in a hotel fashion where each floor consisted of a long hallway full of rooms with stairs on each end that lead all the way downstairs. I was living with a few other people who had survived the zombie attacks and by now we were all pros at protecting ourselves.

The house lay on a few hundred acres of land with a run down set of carnival rides at the bottom of the hill that the previous owners had built and never took down.

At one point we had placed an ad for a handyman and since the entire town knew about our zombie issue it wasn't long before we had a line of people outside of our door all looking to become the newest member of the freak show house. I had to address them all and explain that we were looking for someone who not only could protect themselves against the zombies bit who actually had maintenance experience.

I explained that they would begin with a test: they had to go up one set of stairs and come down the other without being bitten by the zombies and only then would they be considered for the job.

Outside me and another kid (an effeminate teenager with blonde hair named Clint) had discovered an old Greek plaque that showed two slaves at the ends of two ropes that were attached to a cart, and this gave Clint the idea that we could chain both of the zombies up in the yard and use them to do something for us, but I woke up before he told me what it was they would do.

I was living with my cousin JJ and I had awoke in the middle of the night to go to bathroom. I knew I was starting a new job in the morning but I wasn't sure what time I started so I called the number on the employment contract. My old co-worker Rob Johnson answered the phone and he  reassured me all teachers start at 10am. I hung up the phone and started cleaning the counter, content with knowing that I was a clean person to live with.

I went into the kitchen to look over the employment contract again and at the top of the page it displayed my fate: Youth Gym Teacher. On the line below it showed three different salaries that totaled $31,500. Suddenly it occurred to me that this was only 1/3 of my current income and I started freaking out. I started to wonder if It was too late to get my job back at the hotel but I knew it wouldn't be the same because now I'd be at the bottom of seniority and I'd be working nights, weekends, etc. I also realized I was going to school and wondered if I would be reimbursed now that I quit halfway through the year to become a teacher there.

When I woke up the next morning I was living with my old friend John Milton and his girlfriend. I was changing into a new pair of shorts and my pockets were full of random junk. John had offered to lend me a duffel bag so I had a place to store all of the things in my pockets I wouldn't need.

As I left for work I said goodbye to to another old friend Joe Ruskiewicz and I promised him we'd hang out after I got out of work.

When I got outside I headed up the hill to go to school and all of Kasia's coworkers were walking amongst me as this was the same route to the museum. On the other side of the hill there was a city called Janel or Tracy and the entire city was a small model (much like a toy train village) and I felt like Godzilla as I walked through, trying my hardest not to crush the homes and businesses beneath me. The last thing I recall thinking is how I wished I knew about this town when my parents were here because I knew they'd get a kick out of it.
 

I was living at my parents' house in Appleton and although it was early in the morning I remembered staying up making mixed taped all night. I was running late for work and when I caught a bus from the Kwik Trip down the street from their house I realized that it was the wrong bus. Luckily I had my skateboard with me so I figured even if I had to switch buses I could still skate part of the way.

As we approached the mall I knew I was nowhere near work (which is funny because I don't know where "work" was anyways) so when we pulled into the parking lot I decided to get out and skate as fast as I could. Just then I noticed my friends Hilary and Jason pulling up in a small red car (VW Bug posssibly?) with 2 of their kids in the backseat. I ran over to say hello and after some small talk Jason offered to give me a ride to work and I was so relieved. Hilary and one of the kids had run into the store and suddenly Jason, realizing that the other child was still in the car, ran over to check on him.  The bus driver was standing amongst us for some reason and he laughed and said "Wow! You can tell I don't have children because I never would have thought to check on the other kid!"

By the time Hilary had returned to the car the bus driver was in the store and I realized I left all of my mixed tapes in the bus. As Jason drove me over to see if I could pry the doors open we discussed getting together after I was out of work so we could make mixed tapes together with all of his CDs.

I was traveling through Switzerland with my friends Dave, Nathan and my cousin Christian to meet up with my friend Anoushka and her family who live in Lausanne. The dream began with Christian and I entering a
shopping mall and Christian had snuck into a secluded area beneath the stairs to hide our shoes and jacket so we wouldn't have to carry them around. As soon as he was inside I could tell the mall security cops had found out he was in a restricted area so I discreetly walked away as they started looking for him. I found myself in the back of the mall where a conference was in progress and I waited there until my cousin was able to elude the security and meet back up with me.

In the next segment I had met Anoushka's mom on the side of a deserted country road. Somehow we both knew that my main reason for this trip was to see Rachel but we hugged each other and spoke happily about how nice it was to see each other again. The sun had just begun to set and in the distance a girl around ten years of age appeared on the road. Anouschka's mom had called for her and as she slowly walked towards us I began taking pics of her bathed in the sun's orange glow with the silhouette of a large old barn in the background.

Next I found myself eating hamburgers with Anouschka and Kasia. We were taking pictures of the food and trying to come up with some ideas for what to do that evening. I walked over to Nathan and he gave me a passcode to use with my phone so that I could text my friends back home for free.

That night we all ended up at a party in someone's house down the street from where Anouschka lived, and my cousin and I were still in our socks because our shoes were still at the mall. When no one was looking I snuck away from the party and decided to walk past Anouschka's house in the hopes that Rachel would be home. I was carrying a large bouquet of flowers which I thought would be a nice gesture but as I approached the house I saw a light on upstairs and the gravity of the situation had fallen upon me. I knew it was Rachel in that room and suddenly all of my doubts and insecurites has risen to the surface. What would she think of me?  Would she be upset that I was there? The sidewalk lead me into the backyards of the rest of the neighborhood, and I continued to walk until I finally had the courage to turn around. I passed by her house again, more slowly and deliberately, but this time all of the lights were out and I was a bit sad that I may have lost my only opportunity to see her.

The dream started with Kasia and I in someone's apartment. It was late at night and we were with two other guys, one of whom Kasia was getting very flirty with. As we all lay down for bed I could hear the two of them rustling around and as I lifted up their blanket I could see his fingers slowly sliding in and out of her pussy. I scrambled to get my iphone out and switch to the camera setting but of course I couldn't get it to work fast enough, and by the time I was ready he had already gotten up to leave. She gave me that satiated "Whoa, that was crazy!" look and I was so shocked that she had done it and yet completely turned on by the experience.

In the next dream Kasia and I were homeless and we had broken into a small store that was a few steps down from the street level. As we slept on a bench I tried to calculate how long we could sleep before we would be in danger of someone coming to open the store and discovering us. Eventually we got into my car (which I do not own) and as I drove we were listening to David Lee Roth. I could hear a mother with her small child in the backseat and she kept making strange comments like "This song must be a new song because it definitely isn't OLD!" and it occurred to me that she was trying to shelter this child from ever knowing that there was life before the 90's (even though the child was much too young to comprehend this anyways).

I was out in the city with Kasia and got a call from our neighbor asking if I could come over and help him set up his new hamster cage. It sounded a bit bizarre but I went there anyways, and when I arrived he took me into an apartment that we apparently had rented out as a meth lab (obviously thinking about Breaking Bad). All across one half of the ceiling and down one of the walls was filled with embedded sparkling diamonds and I knew that whoever was cooking the latest batch of meth had made a mistake causing the batch to explode. Without hesitation I dragged a table beneath the damaged area and we jumped up and started removing the evidence as quickly as we could.

In the next dream I was in a boat offshore with Jay-Z and he was giving me a blowjob. I was obviously not enjoying it so we rowed back to shore. There was a high building overlooking the water, and I entered it as if I had been there a hundred times. I went upstairs and hung out with his bodyguard and he was saying that Jay-Z wasn't "performing" well because he knew the bodyguard was watching us. I laughed and said "Ironically I need someone watching us in order to cum and he's just the opposite."

In the first dream I was getting ready for work and everything that could go wrong was doing just that. It was almost 5:00pm and I knew I was supposed to be at work by 3:00pm but as much as I tried to call my boss the phone just wouldn't work or I couldn't find his number. When I finally got to work I couldn't figure out my locker combination which meant I couldn't get my outfit, and there were two large carpet cleaning machines chained up next to my locker and I knew it was my job to unlock them but again the combinations just would not work. Plus, they were full of water and as I shook them to try getting them free from the chains the water was spilling out all over the floor and I knew I'd have to mop it up even though I was already hours late.

Next, I was hanging out in a filthy bathroom with Kasia and my old friend Melissa C. (she was Kasia's childhood friend in this dream) and somehow it was decided that if I stayed in the bathroom and cleaned they would go out into the living room to have their first lesbian experience.

I was picking up trash and there was hair everywhere as if someone took a hot shower and then trimmed their dry hair with a fan on. I did a quick sweep and then snuck around the corner to see if they were really going through with it. The first thing I saw was Kasia sucking Mel's cock and I remember thinking "Oh yeah, I forgot she had a dick! Even better!" I couldn't wait to watch her get fucked by it.

Something happened outside of the apartment which made them stop and as soon as they noticed me there they just laughed and came to their senses which meant there would be no more show. Kasia mentioned how the camera had jammed up after a few pics and I just hoped that the pics were of Mel so I could see her naked.

I was having a really bad day in this dream....I was at home looking at porn in my sister Erin's bedroom when suddenly she comes in and says "Hey what are you looking at?" and I had to shut the computer off before she could see.

Next, I noticed that the password for my "Words For Free" account (it's actually the scrabble app on my iphone) had been hacked by my boss Thomas's girlfriend and I was so upset about it. She had used the account to send me an email asking my opinion about the Beatles Broadway show called 'Rain' so I approached Thomas to ask him about it. Apparently she had been planning to take Thomas as a surprise and now I had ruined it by telling him.

When I saw Thomas at work later he knew I was having a bad day. There were about 10 girls behind a bar and most of them had their shirts off. Cassaundra was one of them but she kept her shirt on because you could tell she was uncomfortable being nude in public. My sister Erin was there and she started rubbed some strange soothing lotion on my forehead to calm me down.

The next morning I was taking the 2 train to work and I accidentally got off at the wrong stop. As I waited on the platform I found myself in the dark fending myself from two large raccoons which I kept kicking onto hte train tracks. They kept jumping back up onto the platform and luckily I was able to find a pitchfork but by then my friends were there helping me look for them.

We all got back onto the train and took it all the way down to Coney Island just in time for the sunrise and I was upset that I forgot my camera.

It started with me meeting up with my Improv group outside somewhere and as we left we realized that something major had just happened in the city and we would have to band together to help each other out.
Eventually we ended up at someone’s house and I was in the basement showing Peter and someone else from class my cabinets that I made for Roman. I was afraid he'd be jealous or upset that I didn't make anything for him.
Later I was upstairs hanging out with Katie and as she went into the bathroom to change her clothes I watched her take off her dress. She had a blue bra and tiny blue thongs on that made her ass look long and bubbly and I stared at it as long as I could before walking away to give her some privacy.

My friend Dave G. and I had parked our bikes outside of a small gas station and I quickly went in to purchase a pack of cigarettes without letting Dave know. They only had 3 different kinds so I had to choose between Marlborough and Benson & Hedges (which is what I used to smoke). They also had an entire wall of snow-cone machines but I had taken so long picking out smokes that I let the girl behind me get her snow cone while I decided on which flavor to get. By the time it was my turn Dave came in wondering what was taking me so long. As I picked a flavor that I had never heard of I could hear Dave speaking a few lines of Polish to the girl and I wondered where he had learned Polish from.

Next, Kasia and I were walking our bikes and she was talking about getting a dog. For some reason I knew we already had some kids so I said “Yes” because I thought "Well it's already too much to handle so what's a dog going to hurt?" I was already stressed.

Next I was in the bedroom and I noticed a group of flies had gathered on his big glass jar on the dresser. I started swatting at them with a flyswatter and Kasia got upset that I wasn't being more careful. I assured her that the jar was much too heavy to be knocked over and continued to swat away. Eventually the room was infested with hundreds of bees and wasps which we ran around swatting and stomping on and spraying with Raid until there was just a mess of dead insects all around. Moments later the room was filled with thousands of worms, which we decided was a naturally occurring repercussion of killing so many insects at once.

Kasia and I had just moved into a new apartment and as we were unpacking and getting situated the doorbell rang and our two new kittens were delivered.

That evening we found ourselves in the living room with a bunch of random strangers and couples. The lead guy was welcoming all of us and after giving a short speech he proceeded to show all of us around the house. His entire language was sprinkled with religious comments and eventually it occurred to me that we had moved into a religious commune. I was so upset and disappointed that we didn't research it more before we moved in. Now we would have to pack everything back up and even worse is that the kittens would have to readjust to a new home.

In the first dream I was setting up dominoes with someone in a huge bedroom while my co-worker Jen E. and my friend Heather from Austin were busy doing something else. When we were halfway done (which took hours) I gave up and hit one of the dominoes and we watched them crackle and fall as the cat jumped around them in disbelief.

Afterwards were were sitting around talking and Jen decided to change shirts. No one seemed to notice as she removed her bra and lifted the tops of her small breasts to get a closer check of her cute puffy nipples, and when she turned and noticed I was staring she just laughed and said "What am I doing sitting here with my shirt off?" I was the only one paying attention.

Next I was talking to Kasia in the doorway of her apartment, when suddenly I noticed a strange gray animal resembling a rabbit moving along the floor of the huge foyer. Kasia picked it up only to discover that it was mechanical so we let it run around the foyer hoping to freak out the stray cat that was running around as well.

I woke up before it could happen.

I had woken up at my parents house in the middle of the night and I had gone downstairs to find the living room lit up like a disco. Peering outside the window I could see the streets lined with police cars, and it was apparent that someone or something was on the loose and they were hoping to catch it. I went outside and noticed a figure digging around in the garage, and before I could freak out I realized it was just my boyfriend getting his bike. Apparently we just had a fight and he was taking this opportunity to leave. I followed him down the driveway and as he left he mentioned that they still hadn't fixed the chimney and I turned to find my parents chimney in broken down disarray.

In the next dream I was sitting in the back of a van next to my dad. We were on our way up to the cottage (which I was really excited about) and he was reading a book. I was peering over his shoulder trying to read it as well since there was nothing else to read and he offered to give it to me but I refused. In my head I remember thinking "See, this is why I could never be a parent- you have to be so selfless and willing to give up everything and I don't think I could do it." I also noticed that I had a slight erection and I felt
incredibly awkward. I  repositioned myself to ensure he didn't notice.

Along the way we stopped at my Uncle Bill's house (where we were told tornadoes had torn through his neighborhood the night before) and as we exited the car he greeted us with his newest invention- it was
called "bird poop soap" and he smirkingly made sure we all got a dollop before we entered the house. With each squirt of white lotion there was a small crusty portion of black and we all laughed so hard at the brilliance of it. I mentioned how happy I was that my own poop wasn't like that and he made sure to mention that his stool always had black crust on it.

The last thing I recall before waking up is playing with his tiny hairless dog which he was so proud of. Even more proud than his soap which I clearly had to disagree with.

Kasia and I were staying at someone's house and I was going to run out and get some food. As I got outside a woman with a dog had stopped by and was telling the owner of the house that she had received a lot of
complaints about their dog barking. It started pouring out and I started to look for my umbrella and then decided that I would stay in.

Next Kasia and I walked down the street to see a movie. When we got to the ticket window there were two guys about to buy some tickets. The show we wanted to see was either sold out or not playing at the time
and we were just debating on what to see when another group came up to us and handed us a ticket for Black Swan that they weren't going to use. As I reached for it the asshole in front of me jumped in front of me and grabbed it. I was so pissed and I grabbed a padlock and started smashing it into his face repeatedly. He just kept laughing until eventually he went down.

I was then with my old friend Floyd and as we ran around the corner I looked over my shoulder and saw a cop pulling up to the theater. We hid out in someone's apt and eventually Floyd left and the apt owners
friend came by. Kasia and I started packing our stuff (we were staying there so all of our clothes towels etc were there) and I was so nervous. Then our friend Jen Blanchard came home and we realized we were okay. There were three different bedrooms and as I walked through the house collecting our things I noticed there were girls changing out of their clothes in each different room. I peeked but acted like I wasn't looking. When we were about to leave I wondered if we would be able to get to the car with all our stuff (the car was still by the theatre) and get home without the cops finding me.

I was walking down a wide street and came upon a girl who was also walking alone. I commented on how refreshing it was to walk down such a huge uncrowded street and she expressed the same relief. I asked her
if she was from "here" and she said no, but we never got into details. Then she and I were at Charlie Sheen's house with a few of her friends and I was talking to Charlie as if we were old friends. I asked him if he had started the tour yet and he said he hadn't. He regretfully started telling me how he had started to pull out of some of them and I said "Well you can't cancel Radio City! You sold it out in half an hour!"

Next we were at a river's edge in India with Kasia and some friends (?) and a sadhu was showing us the importance of the long stick he had painted white. We made our way up to the top of a cliff and were watching the clouds when we all spotted this long, thin white cloud. We instantly recognized the face in the front of it as Atrayu from the movie "The Never-Ending Story" and I just flipped out. Everyone grabbed their
cameras and were snapping away but I couldn't seem to get my lens to fit on my camera. As the cloud passed I could still hear them snapping but for me it was too late. I yelled for Kasia to help me and as she worked to figure out the problem I headed back down to the water's edge and found Jarrod M. kicking around the white stick while the sadhu stared angrily at him. I ran over to tell him to stop and tried quickly to explain the significance of this holy staff and we quickly walked away before we upset him more.

We had all spent the rest of the day wandering through a huge museum with the three girls from Charlie Sheen's house and as we left I was reminded to get their phone numbers so we could keep in touch. We sat
with them awhile and one of them handed my friend David G. a lottery ticket but instead of lotto numbers it said "Sarah has a crush on you." Afterwards we were at someone's house packing up to get ready to go home. I wondered when I was supposed to go back to work and had no idea how I had been away or how I had gotten the time off. Someone reminded me of what I missed in the museum and one of them was kind enough to drop me off so I could quickly run through it again. I only got about 1/4 through it when I woke up.

I was walking down a country road with Kasia's sister and I was carrying around a camcorder. I was trying to rewind the tape as apparently there was a video of her in nothing but underpants. As she walked ahead of me I noticed she was wearing very short shorts which exposed the bottom of her buttcheeks so I started taping that instead.

Next I was in a small two-story building when someone informed me that the guest in room 5702 wanted some decaffeinated coffee. I thought someone was playing a joke on me until I realized that I was supposed to be at work. I started on my way and passed through a grocery store where I had hoped to use the restroom. A man before me had already gotten the key so I decided not to wait. As I passed by the restroom I noticed other people asking if they could go in but I didn't have the heart to put him in that position.

When I got home it was apparent that my sisters had a party the night before. Everyone was sleeping in all the different rooms, and I figured it would be a good opportunity to go online and look at porn. Two boys were already up so I went upstairs to the loft to use the computer and used the excuse that I was going to play video games. This was a bad plan since of course it made the boys want to join me.

Eventually I went down to my room (crazy how I still dream about being in my old room!) and as soon as I turned on my little TV a bunch of people came in to hang out and play video games. I decided to put on a video that showed a few friends and I playing pool on the craziest looking billiards table.

I had just woken up alone in an apartment on the 2nd floor, and
somehow I knew that I had priorly arranged to meet Kasia (or someone
else? Sara A.?) in the apartment next store when we awoke. The
agreement was that we had to be naked, and I guess I was skeptical of
her actually going through with it so I wrapped a sheet over myself
and went over to peek in and see. Sure enough, she was there
completely naked so I threw the sheet off and went in to meet her.

I can't recall a single moment about the rest of that day but by that
evening we were still in the apartment, only this time Sara A. and Jen
B. had joined us. The two of them were making out against the wall
while Kasia and I lay on the bed and I was hoping that we would be
able to switch at some point. Eventually Jen had fallen asleep next to
me on the bed and now it was Kasia and Sara making out and fondling
each other against that same wall. I wanted to enjoy it but I kept
wishing that it was a male that she was fooling around with, as it
would have been much more arousing to me.

When we woke up in the morning the large front windows blanketed the
entire apartment with a soft white glow. Kasia and Sara had already
woken up (or had they not yet slept?) and were once again/still
fooling around against the back wall, and when Jen woke up she smiled
at me and said something along the lines of "You know you want to try
me!" and without hesitation she sat up just enough to remove her white
t-shirt, which exposed an enormous tattoo which covered 75% of her
entire upper torso. I already had my shirt off, and as soon as we
removed our pants I climbed on top of her and before long I was gently
pushing myself inside of her.

I was facing the window as we fucked and just by chance I happened to
glance outside, only to find that there were about 5 guys on the
sidewalk with large cameras trying their best to get a shot of our
amazing situation. I was so annoyed, and as I debated whether or not
to stop and deal with them or just keep going I woke up before a
decision could be made.

I was in the kitchen of my parents' house and some of my sister Erin's friends were on their way over. When they arrived one of them stopped in front of the living room window and began humping a bush, and when
he got inside I asked him why he did that. He asked if I had ever been cliff jumping and I said "Ohh its because your balls itch from healing after they hit the water!" He went on to talk about how my cousin Adam got hurt because he went cliff jumping at night and didn't check to make sure there was water first.

My mom was at the Valley Fair Mall (at tiny mall near their house which no longer exists) and I decided to walk over and meet her so we could rent a movie together, but on the way over I ended up meeting up with my old friend John M.. Together we rode our motorbikes into Neenah so we could watch a parade where all the motorbikes come into the city.

We ended up in a large three story bar, and while I was there I noticed my old friends "Phish" and Tony ("Tones") walk in, so I ran over to give "Phish" a huge hug. I was so happy to see him and couldn't wait to talk to him and Tony. He asked what I was doing there and I told him that I had just flown in from India to be there and afterwards I would be flying back. Then I noticed that the rest of that gang of friends: Bob, Mykk, Mel and Jen were there as well and I was completely elated. Mykk quickly approached me but you could tell he was a bit hesitant to say hello. "I got that email you sent out last year (I suddenly remembered sending an email to everyone saying "Thanks for being such an amazing part of my life" even though in reality I never actually did) and it was a nice letter but it was all bullshit." I just smirked that "Of course you would, you arrogant pompous asshole" smirk and said "I really don't care what you thought of the letter. Being around you guys was some of the best years of my life and just because you don't like "Floyd" (another old friend from that circle) and some of of you may have personal vendettas, it doesn't change the fact that I still loved every minute of being with you."

Just then I realized that I had come with John (who had no idea who my other friends were) and I didn't want to ditch out on him so I went out looking for him. I went upstairs and found him completely wasted and passing out so I set him down on the floor where there were all of these cute girls hanging out. One of them was wearing a skirt and she had it hiked up and was pissing on the carpeting but no one seemed to mind. Some of the back splash landed on John and he woke up and tried to scream at her but he was too drunk to form a complete sentence. That's when I noticed that a bunch of the girls had taken off their clothes and were running around completely naked (one of them was an old schoolmate named Mandy M.). Their bodies were all erotically thick and plump and jiggly and I couldn't take my eyes off of them. It was wonderful.

I went back downstairs to talk to my old friends (i.e. "The Franks crew") for a bit but by the time I got back downstairs most of them had left already. Mel was still there and as I sat down next to her I noticed another girl next to us who was laying on her stomach. She had her pants off and just above the crack of her ass she had a slightly deformed yet perfectly working erect penis attached to her. When our eyes met she opened her mouth and I accepted the invitation by crawling over on my knees and sticking my cock onto her warm mouth. As she licked and sucked I stroked her cock as well, amazed by the realness of it. After a minute or so she stopped sucking me and stood up and asked "So where do you want it?" I asked her what she meant and she said "Didn't you ask me to pee on you?" I assured her that I didn't ask her for that (this time) and after a second of confusion she went back down to her stomach and took me back into her mouth. I told her that it had been over a week of abstinence so there was going to be a lot of cum but she didn't seem to care where it all went. I reached back to massage her asshole and she quickly reminded me that there was no touching allowed. "So I can't touch you at all now?" I was starting to get a bit impatient and turned off by her odd behavior when suddenly I heard Kasia's voice approaching the area where I was. I jumped up and remembered that I was married and that I was supposed to meet her but in the midst of getting my dick sucked I had completely forgotten about it.

I woke up here in Pushkar (India) before any trouble could come of it.

I was on my way home from work ("home" was my parents' house) and I got a text from my friend Chris Doire. He had attached a picture of a concert flyer reminding me of a show I was supposed to attend with
him. The show had started at 11:00pm as it was now 11:15 which meant I was missing the show. I rushed over to the venue and found a bunch of random friends waiting in the bar area outside of the room where the
concert was going on. They were just finishing up their drinks before going in and they made me get a drink with them which I thought I had time for, but by the time I was finished with the drink the show was over. Chris came out from the show and I ran over to apologize and got him a drink. I was afraid that he would see me with everyone and assume I ditched him to drink but he didn't seem too upset. Meanwhile, there was a blizzard outside and everyone was wondering how they were going to get home.

In the next dream I was sitting in a Broadway theatre with Kasia and there was an older couple sitting next to us. The couple and I were discussing the concept of tipping and I said "Do you know what the English use to tip? Cheers!" They didn't seem to get it so I just assumed they were British. I had my arm around Kasia and the elderly man next to her was resting his head on my hand. When I removed my hand he became irate, and I'm not sure what he did at that point but someone in one of the front rows came back and angrily grabbed him by the neck, and then proceeded to drag him out of the theater. I quickly followed them out and as I did I noticed he had dropped his pack of cigarettes. I picked them up and crushed them in my hand, eager to
break them all, and as I did I noticed my hotel Security Manager Alonza giving me that "I'm going to pretend I didn't notice that" look. That's all I recall.

Next, I was at my parents' house with a bunch of friends and we were all preparing for a New Year's Eve party. We were out in the driveway getting ready to head to the store when the little girls who lived next door came over to tell me that they saw pictures of my "wiener" on the Internet. They were laughing and giggling and I was saying "No you didn't" but wondering how this was possible since I never post my face. We headed to the the grocery store and I was searching everywhere for the small plastic containers of cheese for dipping crackers in. I eventually found them and once we were finished we headed back to my parents house to load them into the huge truck we had rented for the occasion.

In the last dream I was staying in a hotel with Metallica and as I went upstairs to my room I passed by Kirk Hammet's room and listened to him practicing some songs. It was so cool. As I headed to my room I accidentally walked into the wrong room but I realized that I was in the band so I knew I wouldn't get into trouble.

I was working as a security guard in a hotel on the overnight shift and my partner was Brandon, who was a colleague of mine from my old job at the Sheraton.There were a few other people working with us as well but they seemed like macho pricks so we stayed away from them. I was making a pot of coffee and I couldn't wait to drink it; I even had a packet of pure cane sugar that I was going to pour into it when the time was right, but before I had a chance to do so I was called about a disturbance in one of the rooms.

When I arrived there was a party going on and on a pull out couch I saw two women lying face down completely naked. Both of them were passed out and the guys who were in the room had placed lit cigarettes in the cracks of their legs, which made their assholes turn bright red from being burned. I ran over and brushed the cigarettes off of them and frantically rubbed the ash and embers off of their asscheeks. As they remained motionless I shook them awake so they could do something about the situation but after a few seconds of in cohesive grumbling they were back to sleep. I grabbed some blankets and after covering them up I tried to usher the creepy men out of the room but we all realized they were much bigger than me. In defiance, they stubbornly slumped down onto the floor and acted as if they were going to sleep as well.

After turning off the lights I decided to stay and watch over the girls to make sure the guys didn't try anything stupid, so I went and lay down next to Jen opposite Cassaundra and tried to fall asleep. Moments later Jen awoke and sat up so that she was sitting on her knees facing me. I could tell that one of her hands was tucked between her legs but I couldn't tell what she was doing until she reached over and pulled out my cock, and before I knew it she was stroking it with such passion that the sounds of my sticky pre-cum rubbing against her knuckles were loud enough to wake up Cassaundra. I scrambled to find a blanket to cover up with but it was too late; As soon as I was hard to Jen's satisfaction she crawled on top of me and continued fingering herself, obviously preparing to guide my cock into her. I wriggled myself free so that I was now to the side of her, and squatting down deeper onto all fours she continued to pleasure herself to the point where she was practically convulsing with ecstasy.

I noticed Cassaundra's eyes open again for a brief second and once they closed I shook her and pointed to my position in relevance to her so that she could see I was not fucking Jen. Moments later Jen turned onto her back and I put a blanket over her entire body. As soon as Cassaundra's eyes were closed I felt Jen's hand guiding my right hand down to her crotch. My heart was racing a thousand times a second and as much as a risk it was, I couldn't help but work my way down to her butt hole and it took everything in my creative power to get my finger deep inside and thrust it in and out and she fingered herself to orgasm after writhing orgasm.

All of this was too much for me so I pulled out my cock and stroked away, hoping I could somehow turn around and cum onto her belly when that time came. Her asshole was nice and loose and it turned me on to
no end thinking of all the men she must have let fuck her there. I even debated taking a moment to run to my camera bag and grab a condom so I could do the same, but before I could react I was back wandering
through the hotel doing my job.

At some point I was on a set of stairs talking to Cassaundra when two shady Italian looking guys walked up the stairs and stopped when their faces were at my waist level. One of the guys started yelling as me as if he had planned for a thousand things to say to me and they were all trying to come out at once. The first words we could understand were " I'm Jen's brother and this guy has to go get himself checked out because my sister has gonorrhea and now (pointing at my crotch) so does he."

I was all set to defend myself but by the time I got to "Whoa whoa whoa, I did NOT have sex with her!" I had woken up and couldn't get back to sleep in time to continue my retort.

 I was living across from an apartment occupied by a couple who (in reality) posts on the same adult site that we do. I loved the idea of seeing his wife walk around her living room knowing that they had no idea I was just across the way.

One day a fire broke out on the roof of their building so I ran over to their front door and rang all of the buzzers hoping it would wake everyone up so they could get out on time.

The fire was eventually determined to be from moss catching on fire, and the entire apartment burned to the ground. I felt so terrible. I wanted to get in contact with him and let him know I'd help out in any way possible but I didn't want him to be upset knowing that I've been living across from him for all the years we've been chatting and posting together.

Eventually the apartment complex was rebuilt and I bumped into them when they were moving things into their new apartment. I was so excited to finally see his wife up close; she has the perfect amount of chubby thickness with nice big thighs and a soft belly you just want to bury your nose into.

As I walked past her she was wearing a white bathrobe and I remember being a bit disappointed because she was so much skinnier in real life. Still, it was a rush just to be in the same room.

In the next dream Kasia and I were traveling up to a campsite to meet up with my family. It was winter and walked up a long hill in the snow to get there.

When we finally arrived Kasia went to find my family while I attended a seminar involving some new cellphone demonstration. I sat in the back and all I can remember is removing my pants and spending the entire seminar masturbating and hoping no one would notice. When the class was over I scrambled to put my pants back on and I could feel everyone looking at me and realizing what I was doing the entire time.

I was given the flip phone with an option to purchase it but I threw it back in the box with the other phones because I didn't need it. I wondered why I wasted the time to do this when I already have a cell phone, and I was so upset with myself for even being there when I could have been with my family.

The first thing I remember is walking down a hallway and arriving at the dressing room door of Mitchell Jarvis, who plays in my favorite Broadway show called 'Rock of Ages.' I had brought him a huge bottle of champagne which stood about four feet tall and was merely for amusement. Within an instant of knocking he swung the door open and said something cocky about how excited he was to receive it and then slammed the door in my face.

There was a T.V. in the hallway and it was showing two of the new sitcoms for the new season, so I stood there watching them. One was with the kid from Two and a Half Men and the episode involved him and his family walking along a river.The other show was just as good and I  couldn't stop laughing. I was amazed at how good they were and I couldn't wait to tell my mom about them.

When I was finished I went into the foyer of the building to meet up with Kasia and I told her about the new shows. She and I were working on a project that involved the worlds smallest stamp. Someone who was sitting near us inquired about it and apparently it was in direct relation to the Rock of Ages guy and the stamp was supposed to represent to size of his genitals.The person asked how big the stamp was and I spent forever trying to snip a piece of paper as into as tiny a square as I could to show the size.

The the next dream I was at work with my co-worker Molly and my cousin JJ showed up with two of his friends. They had just come from trying to sell his apt and so far he was able to get $2000 a month for it. I asked him a few questions about it but he became quite condescending and I could tell he was annoyed that I was asking him about it. I still felt bad that I couldn't spend more time with them so I took out a business card and wrote out a comp for three free drinks at the bar so they could at least get boozed up.

Molly gave me a package from Security which was addressed to me and it contained a cheese log and four DVDs loaded with all the new sitcoms for the season and I was so excited to watch them. They all had animals on the cover and I was confused as to why everyone was on such an animal kick this year.

The first dream started out in a kitchen of an upstairs apartment where I was on the set of 'How I Met Your Mother'. It was Neil Patrick Harris' last day on the show and although we were all saying goodbye by making various jokes about his character (Barney Stinson) there was an unspoken feeling of sadness that filled the room.  We left the apartment and walked him down a beautiful set of white marble stairs which spiraled down to the ground floor. As we passed the lifelike statues that adorned the walls it occurred to me that we were in a museum and I suddenly wished we would have replaced the statues with real people as a practical joke on Neil.  I planned on contacting the producers to suggest making a future episode with that same idea.

In the next dream I was back in that same kitchen, only this time I was making dinner with a my dad and a bunch of relatives from my mom's side (?). My grandpa Jack was there and we were all discussing the absurdity of religion, and I remember having a long talk with one of my uncles (?) about my Facebook conversations with my cousin Adam. I was telling him how nice it is to discuss it with him and yet at the same time it gets tiresome because nothing is going to change either one of us. Dad had taken a casserole out of the oven and had just walked out the front door (he was also holding a six pack of empty beer bottles) when I asked him where he was going. He explained that he was bringing the casserole over to mom's work and although I offered to take it he insisted on going alone, and I assumed it was because he wanted to spend some time alone with her.

We walked out onto the deck, which in this dream was situated outside and a few stories up so that the tops of the trees were at arm's length. Many of the branches were wrapped with cloth which resembled a beehive and dad explained that he had to do it so the crows wouldn't get at the eggs. As he headed down the stairs I heard the next door neighbor screaming and I looked over to witness a large crow as big as a vulture sitting on a branch of her tree tearing apart the cloth protectors with his beak.  I ran down the stairs and gathered as many rocks as my hands could carry and headed back up in the hopes of hitting the bird and thus preventing the eggs from being eaten.

Kasia and I were at a friend's apartment and everyone was getting ready for Halloween. Once we were ready to go we headed to the elevator and it was so packed with people that it started to descend before the door could even close. Once we got outside I realized I forgot my camera so I headed back up to the apartment while Kasia waited outside. Once I got there I spent what seemed like hours getting my lenses situated and then trying to put my costume back on (I don't recall what I was but I know it was a woman's costume) and as I did I could see three gay boys in the apartment across the street giggling and getting their costumes on as well.

When I left the apartment I took the elevator back down again and this time it lead me to the main floor where everyone from my work was having a big Halloween party. Even Gladys from 'The Office' was there. As I walked past them I noticed my co-worker Francesca wearing a long frilly white dress and sliding around on the laminated floor. I started sliding around with her as well, and when I was at an angle where no one could see me I pulled down the front of my pants and gave her a quick peek of my dick. She laughed in embarrassing excitement and started to look around to see how she could discreetly reciprocate the gesture.
As we danced around I saw my old friend Jojo exit an apartment with Kasia's niece Gabby. I assumed she was babysitting so I walked over to her and asked how everything was going. She assured me everything was fine, and with a switch to a condescending tone said "Now I've heard that you don't like her." I answered with a quick "Nooo that's not true!" but she still didn't believe me. Whenever she would say her name she would pronounce it "Gabya" so I made it a point to say "Hello Gabby!" just so she could take the hint that she was mispronouncing her name.

In the last dream I was making out with someone and we were practicing how to French kiss. This is directly due to an episode of 30 Rock that we watched earlier that night. Damn you Liz Lemon! =)

In the first dream I was sitting at a table in my apartment (which was my grandma D.'s kitchen) and I was on the phone with a travel agency who was looking for Broadway show tickets for their client. I was explaining to her that we use a broker and that the tickets are $350 each and she didn't understand why they were so much. She asked if I could send her a list of shows and I sarcastically said (as I often do) "Yeah, okay, let me go onto GOOGLE and put in "LIST OF BROADWAY SHOWS"".

One of our frequent guests, Frank R., was in my apartment as well and overhearing the conversation he offered to let me use his flash drive since he had all the Broadway shows on it. I put it into the computer and as I scrolled through all the files I came across a picture of a girl who was on a toilet with her pants down when he snapped the pic. I was amused but closed it quickly as I feared he would come over and notice I was being nosy. There was another guy there as well and he asked me something Concierge related and I was so annoyed that I was doing work at home.

In the next dream I was sitting at a table putting drink coasters into a pile while singing some awful 80's song (possibly Miami Sound Machine?) and it was snowing outside.

In the last dream Kasia and I were in our bedroom and we noticed the couple in the apartment across from us had just finished having sex. The guy had left the room and the girl was laying on the bed on her stomach and I was trying to determine whether or not she was wearing underwear. She sat up on her knees and gave us a good view of her breasts but Kasia was too embarrassed to look. I told her that their light was on so she had to know we were watching and as we discussed it the girl lay down onto her back and started masturbating with her lower half facing the window. Kasia and I scrambled to find our glasses and simultaneously stripped off our clothes with the intent of masturbating with her but by the time we got back to the window she had already closed the blinds. We just stood there naked hoping she would notice us but she never did.

I had just arrived at an apartment which was being occupied by a guy and a girl whom I did not know. When I entered they were talking to me very strange, as if they were actors reciting lines and I was in the middle of a sketch. I decided to go along with it, so I started saying strange things just to see where the scene would go.

I was walking around the kitchen while the others were in other areas of the apartment and suddenly Kasia (groggy and obviously just waking up) came stumbling into the kitchen. Without saying a word she leaned against the counter and pulled down the front of her pajama pants and I got down on my knees and pushed my face into her bare lips, lapping her up as if I hadn't seen her in years. She slowly slid down to the
floor and I didn't miss a beat, even though I'm pretty sure one of the roommates was there watching as well.

Next, I was in a classroom and I was so upset to be back in school again. Everyone was turning in their homework and I knew I didn't have mine finished but I didn't care at all. We were instructed to get into
groups and a few friends approached me to ponder over who we should join up with. A few of us walked over to an elevator and as we waited for it I noticed my reflection and decided that I needed to start cutting my own hair and in a crazy way that will make me less boring. As we got into the elevator a woman and her baby came in with us. One of our friends got back out and I asked why he wasn't joining us. The other friend turned to me said "Well, he couldn't because there's a baby in here."

When we got to the top floor I realized I was back in the same apartment complex as before, only this time I couldn't figure out which apartment it was. I ended up walking outside of the building for a while and I recall wondering why I always had this habit of getting lost in dreams.

I finally made it up to a floor that looked familiar and I had the choice narrowed down to two apartments. I tried to listen in to see if I recognized any voices from behind each door but it was too muffled and I was too nervous to spend too much time with my ear up to the door. Suddenly a guy came around the corner and went into the door on the right but he was wearing a Halloween costume so I wasn't sure if it was the roommate I had met earlier.

Eventually I decided that the door on the right was indeed the correct apartment and before I knew it I was sitting in the hallway with everyone from the apartment. I was sitting on some girl's lap and Kasia was sitting next to me holding my hand, which I thought was a bit strange. I got up and walked over to the guy who lived in the apartment and he was whispering to me how much he liked the girl whose lap I was on and I thought "Oh how nice it must be to have crushes again!"

The last dream involved being at work and making a restaurant reservation for a guest but I couldn't get the confirmation letter to print. The computer was this massive metal machine and after doing some troubleshooting I discovered that a cable had come unplugged. As soon as I plugged it back in it blew the fuse and the entire machine shut down. I was so afraid that that ruined it but luckily it started back up and all was well.