Friday, January 21, 2011

I was working as a security guard in a hotel on the overnight shift and my partner was Brandon, who was a colleague of mine from my old job at the Sheraton.There were a few other people working with us as well but they seemed like macho pricks so we stayed away from them. I was making a pot of coffee and I couldn't wait to drink it; I even had a packet of pure cane sugar that I was going to pour into it when the time was right, but before I had a chance to do so I was called about a disturbance in one of the rooms.

When I arrived there was a party going on and on a pull out couch I saw two women lying face down completely naked. Both of them were passed out and the guys who were in the room had placed lit cigarettes in the cracks of their legs, which made their assholes turn bright red from being burned. I ran over and brushed the cigarettes off of them and frantically rubbed the ash and embers off of their asscheeks. As they remained motionless I shook them awake so they could do something about the situation but after a few seconds of in cohesive grumbling they were back to sleep. I grabbed some blankets and after covering them up I tried to usher the creepy men out of the room but we all realized they were much bigger than me. In defiance, they stubbornly slumped down onto the floor and acted as if they were going to sleep as well.

After turning off the lights I decided to stay and watch over the girls to make sure the guys didn't try anything stupid, so I went and lay down next to Jen opposite Cassaundra and tried to fall asleep. Moments later Jen awoke and sat up so that she was sitting on her knees facing me. I could tell that one of her hands was tucked between her legs but I couldn't tell what she was doing until she reached over and pulled out my cock, and before I knew it she was stroking it with such passion that the sounds of my sticky pre-cum rubbing against her knuckles were loud enough to wake up Cassaundra. I scrambled to find a blanket to cover up with but it was too late; As soon as I was hard to Jen's satisfaction she crawled on top of me and continued fingering herself, obviously preparing to guide my cock into her. I wriggled myself free so that I was now to the side of her, and squatting down deeper onto all fours she continued to pleasure herself to the point where she was practically convulsing with ecstasy.

I noticed Cassaundra's eyes open again for a brief second and once they closed I shook her and pointed to my position in relevance to her so that she could see I was not fucking Jen. Moments later Jen turned onto her back and I put a blanket over her entire body. As soon as Cassaundra's eyes were closed I felt Jen's hand guiding my right hand down to her crotch. My heart was racing a thousand times a second and as much as a risk it was, I couldn't help but work my way down to her butt hole and it took everything in my creative power to get my finger deep inside and thrust it in and out and she fingered herself to orgasm after writhing orgasm.

All of this was too much for me so I pulled out my cock and stroked away, hoping I could somehow turn around and cum onto her belly when that time came. Her asshole was nice and loose and it turned me on to
no end thinking of all the men she must have let fuck her there. I even debated taking a moment to run to my camera bag and grab a condom so I could do the same, but before I could react I was back wandering
through the hotel doing my job.

At some point I was on a set of stairs talking to Cassaundra when two shady Italian looking guys walked up the stairs and stopped when their faces were at my waist level. One of the guys started yelling as me as if he had planned for a thousand things to say to me and they were all trying to come out at once. The first words we could understand were " I'm Jen's brother and this guy has to go get himself checked out because my sister has gonorrhea and now (pointing at my crotch) so does he."

I was all set to defend myself but by the time I got to "Whoa whoa whoa, I did NOT have sex with her!" I had woken up and couldn't get back to sleep in time to continue my retort.

Friday, January 14, 2011

 I was living across from an apartment occupied by a couple who (in reality) posts on the same adult site that we do. I loved the idea of seeing his wife walk around her living room knowing that they had no idea I was just across the way.

One day a fire broke out on the roof of their building so I ran over to their front door and rang all of the buzzers hoping it would wake everyone up so they could get out on time.

The fire was eventually determined to be from moss catching on fire, and the entire apartment burned to the ground. I felt so terrible. I wanted to get in contact with him and let him know I'd help out in any way possible but I didn't want him to be upset knowing that I've been living across from him for all the years we've been chatting and posting together.

Eventually the apartment complex was rebuilt and I bumped into them when they were moving things into their new apartment. I was so excited to finally see his wife up close; she has the perfect amount of chubby thickness with nice big thighs and a soft belly you just want to bury your nose into.

As I walked past her she was wearing a white bathrobe and I remember being a bit disappointed because she was so much skinnier in real life. Still, it was a rush just to be in the same room.

In the next dream Kasia and I were traveling up to a campsite to meet up with my family. It was winter and walked up a long hill in the snow to get there.

When we finally arrived Kasia went to find my family while I attended a seminar involving some new cellphone demonstration. I sat in the back and all I can remember is removing my pants and spending the entire seminar masturbating and hoping no one would notice. When the class was over I scrambled to put my pants back on and I could feel everyone looking at me and realizing what I was doing the entire time.

I was given the flip phone with an option to purchase it but I threw it back in the box with the other phones because I didn't need it. I wondered why I wasted the time to do this when I already have a cell phone, and I was so upset with myself for even being there when I could have been with my family.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The first thing I remember is walking down a hallway and arriving at the dressing room door of Mitchell Jarvis, who plays in my favorite Broadway show called 'Rock of Ages.' I had brought him a huge bottle of champagne which stood about four feet tall and was merely for amusement. Within an instant of knocking he swung the door open and said something cocky about how excited he was to receive it and then slammed the door in my face.

There was a T.V. in the hallway and it was showing two of the new sitcoms for the new season, so I stood there watching them. One was with the kid from Two and a Half Men and the episode involved him and his family walking along a river.The other show was just as good and I  couldn't stop laughing. I was amazed at how good they were and I couldn't wait to tell my mom about them.

When I was finished I went into the foyer of the building to meet up with Kasia and I told her about the new shows. She and I were working on a project that involved the worlds smallest stamp. Someone who was sitting near us inquired about it and apparently it was in direct relation to the Rock of Ages guy and the stamp was supposed to represent to size of his genitals.The person asked how big the stamp was and I spent forever trying to snip a piece of paper as into as tiny a square as I could to show the size.

The the next dream I was at work with my co-worker Molly and my cousin JJ showed up with two of his friends. They had just come from trying to sell his apt and so far he was able to get $2000 a month for it. I asked him a few questions about it but he became quite condescending and I could tell he was annoyed that I was asking him about it. I still felt bad that I couldn't spend more time with them so I took out a business card and wrote out a comp for three free drinks at the bar so they could at least get boozed up.

Molly gave me a package from Security which was addressed to me and it contained a cheese log and four DVDs loaded with all the new sitcoms for the season and I was so excited to watch them. They all had animals on the cover and I was confused as to why everyone was on such an animal kick this year.

Monday, January 10, 2011

The first dream started out in a kitchen of an upstairs apartment where I was on the set of 'How I Met Your Mother'. It was Neil Patrick Harris' last day on the show and although we were all saying goodbye by making various jokes about his character (Barney Stinson) there was an unspoken feeling of sadness that filled the room.  We left the apartment and walked him down a beautiful set of white marble stairs which spiraled down to the ground floor. As we passed the lifelike statues that adorned the walls it occurred to me that we were in a museum and I suddenly wished we would have replaced the statues with real people as a practical joke on Neil.  I planned on contacting the producers to suggest making a future episode with that same idea.

In the next dream I was back in that same kitchen, only this time I was making dinner with a my dad and a bunch of relatives from my mom's side (?). My grandpa Jack was there and we were all discussing the absurdity of religion, and I remember having a long talk with one of my uncles (?) about my Facebook conversations with my cousin Adam. I was telling him how nice it is to discuss it with him and yet at the same time it gets tiresome because nothing is going to change either one of us. Dad had taken a casserole out of the oven and had just walked out the front door (he was also holding a six pack of empty beer bottles) when I asked him where he was going. He explained that he was bringing the casserole over to mom's work and although I offered to take it he insisted on going alone, and I assumed it was because he wanted to spend some time alone with her.

We walked out onto the deck, which in this dream was situated outside and a few stories up so that the tops of the trees were at arm's length. Many of the branches were wrapped with cloth which resembled a beehive and dad explained that he had to do it so the crows wouldn't get at the eggs. As he headed down the stairs I heard the next door neighbor screaming and I looked over to witness a large crow as big as a vulture sitting on a branch of her tree tearing apart the cloth protectors with his beak.  I ran down the stairs and gathered as many rocks as my hands could carry and headed back up in the hopes of hitting the bird and thus preventing the eggs from being eaten.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Kasia and I were at a friend's apartment and everyone was getting ready for Halloween. Once we were ready to go we headed to the elevator and it was so packed with people that it started to descend before the door could even close. Once we got outside I realized I forgot my camera so I headed back up to the apartment while Kasia waited outside. Once I got there I spent what seemed like hours getting my lenses situated and then trying to put my costume back on (I don't recall what I was but I know it was a woman's costume) and as I did I could see three gay boys in the apartment across the street giggling and getting their costumes on as well.

When I left the apartment I took the elevator back down again and this time it lead me to the main floor where everyone from my work was having a big Halloween party. Even Gladys from 'The Office' was there. As I walked past them I noticed my co-worker Francesca wearing a long frilly white dress and sliding around on the laminated floor. I started sliding around with her as well, and when I was at an angle where no one could see me I pulled down the front of my pants and gave her a quick peek of my dick. She laughed in embarrassing excitement and started to look around to see how she could discreetly reciprocate the gesture.
As we danced around I saw my old friend Jojo exit an apartment with Kasia's niece Gabby. I assumed she was babysitting so I walked over to her and asked how everything was going. She assured me everything was fine, and with a switch to a condescending tone said "Now I've heard that you don't like her." I answered with a quick "Nooo that's not true!" but she still didn't believe me. Whenever she would say her name she would pronounce it "Gabya" so I made it a point to say "Hello Gabby!" just so she could take the hint that she was mispronouncing her name.

In the last dream I was making out with someone and we were practicing how to French kiss. This is directly due to an episode of 30 Rock that we watched earlier that night. Damn you Liz Lemon! =)
In the first dream I was sitting at a table in my apartment (which was my grandma D.'s kitchen) and I was on the phone with a travel agency who was looking for Broadway show tickets for their client. I was explaining to her that we use a broker and that the tickets are $350 each and she didn't understand why they were so much. She asked if I could send her a list of shows and I sarcastically said (as I often do) "Yeah, okay, let me go onto GOOGLE and put in "LIST OF BROADWAY SHOWS"".

One of our frequent guests, Frank R., was in my apartment as well and overhearing the conversation he offered to let me use his flash drive since he had all the Broadway shows on it. I put it into the computer and as I scrolled through all the files I came across a picture of a girl who was on a toilet with her pants down when he snapped the pic. I was amused but closed it quickly as I feared he would come over and notice I was being nosy. There was another guy there as well and he asked me something Concierge related and I was so annoyed that I was doing work at home.

In the next dream I was sitting at a table putting drink coasters into a pile while singing some awful 80's song (possibly Miami Sound Machine?) and it was snowing outside.

In the last dream Kasia and I were in our bedroom and we noticed the couple in the apartment across from us had just finished having sex. The guy had left the room and the girl was laying on the bed on her stomach and I was trying to determine whether or not she was wearing underwear. She sat up on her knees and gave us a good view of her breasts but Kasia was too embarrassed to look. I told her that their light was on so she had to know we were watching and as we discussed it the girl lay down onto her back and started masturbating with her lower half facing the window. Kasia and I scrambled to find our glasses and simultaneously stripped off our clothes with the intent of masturbating with her but by the time we got back to the window she had already closed the blinds. We just stood there naked hoping she would notice us but she never did.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

I had just arrived at an apartment which was being occupied by a guy and a girl whom I did not know. When I entered they were talking to me very strange, as if they were actors reciting lines and I was in the middle of a sketch. I decided to go along with it, so I started saying strange things just to see where the scene would go.

I was walking around the kitchen while the others were in other areas of the apartment and suddenly Kasia (groggy and obviously just waking up) came stumbling into the kitchen. Without saying a word she leaned against the counter and pulled down the front of her pajama pants and I got down on my knees and pushed my face into her bare lips, lapping her up as if I hadn't seen her in years. She slowly slid down to the
floor and I didn't miss a beat, even though I'm pretty sure one of the roommates was there watching as well.

Next, I was in a classroom and I was so upset to be back in school again. Everyone was turning in their homework and I knew I didn't have mine finished but I didn't care at all. We were instructed to get into
groups and a few friends approached me to ponder over who we should join up with. A few of us walked over to an elevator and as we waited for it I noticed my reflection and decided that I needed to start cutting my own hair and in a crazy way that will make me less boring. As we got into the elevator a woman and her baby came in with us. One of our friends got back out and I asked why he wasn't joining us. The other friend turned to me said "Well, he couldn't because there's a baby in here."

When we got to the top floor I realized I was back in the same apartment complex as before, only this time I couldn't figure out which apartment it was. I ended up walking outside of the building for a while and I recall wondering why I always had this habit of getting lost in dreams.

I finally made it up to a floor that looked familiar and I had the choice narrowed down to two apartments. I tried to listen in to see if I recognized any voices from behind each door but it was too muffled and I was too nervous to spend too much time with my ear up to the door. Suddenly a guy came around the corner and went into the door on the right but he was wearing a Halloween costume so I wasn't sure if it was the roommate I had met earlier.

Eventually I decided that the door on the right was indeed the correct apartment and before I knew it I was sitting in the hallway with everyone from the apartment. I was sitting on some girl's lap and Kasia was sitting next to me holding my hand, which I thought was a bit strange. I got up and walked over to the guy who lived in the apartment and he was whispering to me how much he liked the girl whose lap I was on and I thought "Oh how nice it must be to have crushes again!"

The last dream involved being at work and making a restaurant reservation for a guest but I couldn't get the confirmation letter to print. The computer was this massive metal machine and after doing some troubleshooting I discovered that a cable had come unplugged. As soon as I plugged it back in it blew the fuse and the entire machine shut down. I was so afraid that that ruined it but luckily it started back up and all was well.