I was on a street corner waiting to meet Kasia and Cassaundra's boyfriend John. John came along wearing a egg white t-shirt and as we waited for Kasia a friend of his showed up and they started talking. Apparently there was a footrace in town and he had decided to go up to the top of a mountain to watch it. After a while I grew bored of the conversation so I got in my car and drove down the street figuring I could just circle around and hopefully by that time Kasia would already be there.

Next I was in my house (which was nothing like my apartment) watching 'Little House on the Prairie' and Cassaundra came by. John was over earlier that day and after he and I had opened a few gifts we laid in my bed and called Cassaundra to joke about how he and I were celebrating our gift-opening by messing around in bed. Now that Cass was there I opened Kasia's gifts to me and they turned out to be a box of Milano cookies and a box of chocolate-covered cherries. I remember being excited about the treats but ultimately I was disappointed with the gifts.

When we finished we were thinking of things to do (I had already started eating the chocolate covered cherries) when I had an idea. "Well, we opened the gifts-now we have to celebrate!" We laughed as we made our way to the bedroom and we jumped onto the bed in hysterical laughter. Within a few seconds I climbed on top of her and our hands started wandering as our genitals pushed hard against each other. Our faces were near each other and I don't recall if we were kissing or not, but I do remember slipping my hand under her panties and exploring her bare ass as the grinding intensified.

Suddenly she jumped up and said "Okay I've got to go, I'm bored." and we quickly made our way outside. As we stood in the driveway (which was my parents' driveway) she lit up a cigarette, and I remember how
beautiful her silhouette looked amongst the trees in that dull, hazy summer light. After we hugged goodbye she walked into the street and got into her car, and as she drove away I just stood there wondering if she felt we had gone too far. And how was she going to tell John? Would she?

I was working in the What/When department of my hotel and my desk was located in the back corner where the packages are normally kept. My boss was Kelvin from my old factory job at Plexus and he was in his office while me and Kate (who currently works in What/When) were hanging out by my desk. I had downloaded a song onto my computer and we were editing it into a new song which was hilarious for some reason. Kelvin came over with a curious smile as we were laughing about it and he sat down in my seat and asked "So how do you edit this?" I showed him how to do it and without missing a beat he deleted the entire thing. I thought he had done it on accident until he said "There. Now stop doing this at work." He got up and went back into his office and I was furious with him. I turned to Kate and said "He's lucky that it wasn't something important!"

Later Kate returned to my desk and she was leaning over on my left hand side. There was some strong chemistry between us and I was showing her something on my computer again, just happy she was near me. Suddenly she leaned closer to me and taking the hint I leaned towards her in perfect harmony. She backed off slightly and it occurred to me in a flash that it wasn't her intent at all. She smirked and said "Were you about to kiss me?" I was so embarrassed but I wasn't about to lie so I sheepishly said "Um...yes." She said "Okay, well let's kiss then" and leaned in to fill my lips with a bunch of chicken pecks before I pulled away, afraid of being caught by Kelvin.

The next thing I recall is walking along a highway with Kate, Kelvin and some foreign man. The man kept mentioning how dangerous it was to be walking there but we just ignored him. We were on our way to meet friends at great America which stood atop a big hill, and as we turned the corner onto a dirt road I waited until Kelvin was ahead of us before bitching about him again. "I mean, what in the hell is his problem?!"
In the next dream I was at a cottage with a bunch of friends and family, and Kate was there as well. Dave was calling out for me, and when I found him he was in the bathroom doing his business so I stood outside the door as he discussed something, although I can't remember what it was.

 Later we all sat in the living room discussing how we were going to watch home movies on our last night there and Kate and I kept giving each other these glances just to ensure each other we were in each others head. She mentioned that she had to leave day early and someone had suggested we watch the movies that night instead so that she could enjoy them too, but I persuaded them to stick with he original plan. There was a bonfire burning down by the road away from the cottage and we had secretly planned to sneak away and have sex in front of it on her last night there.

There were a bunch of elderly people dancing in the main room of the cottage and my late Grandma Dee was one of them. She was spinning and twirling and wearing the permanent smile she always used to have, and I stood there watching her dance and thinking "I must remember to ask her what her favorite moments were in life."

In the dream I didn't know she was deceased but now that I'm awake I wish I would have taken her by the hand and danced with her, fanning that beautifully lit smile.

The dream started in a record shop with Kasia and I was wandering through the aisles looking at Stryper and Judas Priest albums. I was wearing a long skirt and was very embarrassed about it. I went through the stacks of old Metallica albums and it occurred to me that I hadn't listened to them in about 15 years, so I promised myself that I would make some time to go back and listen to all of my old Metallica CDs.

I finally settled on a Michael Jackson christmas album and he was wearing a Santa hat on the cover.

I went into the other room where the store employees shot a stack of albums out of a cannon (similar to the t-shirt cannons at sporting events) and since I was in the front I caught about ten of them. As I quickly flipped through to see what I had won I could see that all the other shoppers behind me were upset and expecting me to share. I had a "Red Hot Chili Peppers-Live" album, another Michael Jackson album, and a few others that I wasn't going to give up no matter how pissed the other customers were because I knew they wouldn't appreciate them as much as I would.

Next, I was over at my old roommate Wendy's place where she was living with my friend Tom H.. It was a railroad apartment so there was a living room in the center and two rooms on each side that lead to each of their bedrooms. The front door was next to Tom's bedroom and I sat between the two doors while he and I had a long conversation. The topic waned on being a bit perverse and I had to be careful not to get too raunchy because I didn't want to offend him.

My cousin Christian was there at first, but eventually he turned into my old friend Melissa C. (and thankfully, which you'll see why in a moment). At some point we began to talk about her job, which was at the old factory where we used to work. She said that she has polyps on her asshole and explained how their Engineer Ernie loves to gossip about who has which various venereal diseases and he always mentions her and another girl who has mouth herpes.

At this point we were laying by the front door next to Tom's room and eventually we started messing around. I rubbed the outside of her jeans for a few minutes before going down and pushing my face into the front crotch area of her jeans. She was really worked up at this point and unfastened the button, pulling the zipper down and guiding my hand inside. It was warm and moist on the back of my knuckle and I was just about to pull her pants down when we heard a loud noise coming from Tom's bedroom. We immediately stopped, fearing he would come out of the room and see us there in our tangled heated mess.

I tiptoed towards the back room where Wendy's bedroom was connected to in the hopes that we could migrate to the pull-out couch and not be disturbed. As I approached the room I caught Wendy just heading back into her room. She was completely naked except for the small dildo that hung convincingly in front of her and I had to really look to make sure it wasn't real. As our eyes met she smirked and said "He just doesn't get why he has to do this, but I don't care!" referring to the poor (or lucky) person who was the in next room presumably about to lose his virginity.

Obviously she wasn't going to mind if she came out later to find two people screwing on her couch, so I got Melissa as quickly as my legs could go, and within a few minutes we were on the pull-out bed with the glow that exists between two people in the first few minutes of foreplay.

I was so excited to explore her after so many years of intrigue.

I began by kissing her neck, cheek and arms, making my way down to her stomach, making sure to pay special attention to that sexy hip bone. I pulled her shirt up to her neck and my mouth wandered up to her tiny breasts, lightly sucking her nipples until they were hard enough to tug and twist with my fingers. I couldn't believe my luck.

After a few minutes I went down to help remove her pants (as if it would take too long for her to do it herself) and as she spread her legs to let me in I pressed my nose into her pubic mound and took a few deep breaths just so could take a second to enjoy what I was about to do.

I slid my nose down into the top fold of her lips which were already wet with lust, and pressing my tongue into her body I proceeded to get lost in the sweet taste and smell of her womanhood.
I wanted desperately to push her knees back to her chest so I could spend a moment licking her asshole but I remembered her polyp situation and wasn't sure if it was contagious or not so I made myself refrain.

After a while I had my clothes off and was on top of her rubbing my cock along her soaking wet lips when she pulled out a camera to take a picture. I was elated at the fact that she would even be okay with taking pics, and I got up to grab my camera but she quickly pulled me back down. I wasn't sure if it was because she didn't want more pics or if she was excited for me to be inside of her, but I was too modest to assume the latter so I figured she was just camera shy.

As long as I got a copy of the pic she took so I could "enjoy" it later I was perfectly okay with that assumption.

I don't recall how it ended that night, but the next morning she was definitely back to being my cousin Christian again. We were walking down a New York street and I was pointing out various things to him as I knew it was his first time here (which isn't true at all). He was eating a cup of yogurt with a spoon shaped like a large orange skull and was insidiously dipping the spoon into the yogurt and then stamping it onto the windows of all the stores we passed. The results just looked like blobs of yogurt so I looked back and said "It's not working" hoping it would deter him from continuing.

We went under a tunnel of some sort and passed a homeless woman who was standing against the wall begging for change. Christian asked her some derogatory question and I was so embarrassed. I remember thinking"Why can't visitors from the Midwest figure out what is racist and what is not?!"

The dream ended with us walking through the subway system, and that was the end of the best dream ever!

Talk about anxiety dreams!

The dream started in our apartment where Kasia and I were all stressed out about getting shelves installed on two walls of our bedroom. We needed them to hold all of my instruments and recording equipment but I was worried about what we'd do if we end up moving into a new apartment in April. Kasia tried explaining how we could just plug up the holes with putty but I knew it would be a bigger hassle than just that.

I went into the living room to get dressed for work but I couldn't find my clothes so I put on my PJs and left as quickly as I could. My mom usually drove me to work (???) but she was on vacation for the week so I decided to walk the three miles.

Kasia joined me for a few blocks, and along the way we stopped at someones house for a minute so she could say hello. I left a few moments ahead of her and went around the corner and hid in some bushes so I could scare her when she came out, but by the time she got outside I had a change of heart.

Next, I found myself on a large cliff with a pebbled slope that ran down to a beautiful beach full of people. I had a small scooter and I was showing someone how to use it to slide down the slope, all the while taking in the beautiful scenery surrounding us.

When I got back up to the top of the hill there was a woman holding a large remote controlled rocket. She explained that it was for my friend Justin F. and asked if I could bring it to him. I was already in a rush to get to work but I took it from her anyways, hoping that I could keep it at work until I had a chance to see Justin.

When I finally got to work I had to find my way to the lobby by wandering through a maze of rooms that were filled with old arcade games. I could see one of our Engineers (Steven) huddled up in a corner playing one of the games and I was so jealous.

When I found the desk my co-worker Gilmar was there and I asked him if anyone had noticed how late I was. He warned me that he wasn't supposed to say anything but continued to explain how my boss Raina and her boss Alex were just at the desk and since I was three hours late they were going to be discussing what they were going to do to me. I was so stressed out and I just sat there wondering why in the hell I didn't even call to let them know I was running late.

Next, I found myself down in the basement of the hotel playing handball with two other guys and I had no idea what the rules were. One of them was teasing me about something so I hit the ball directly onto his face, and even though we all laughed it was apparent that I was the more skilled player of the three.

When we finished playing the game we walked into the next room and one of the guys showed us to a stack of Playboys. As we all stood there flipping through the pages I explained how much I hated these types of women. "They're all so skinny and tan and the pics have been so Photoshopped they look like plastic!"

The dream ended sitting in lawn chairs outside of an apartment complex with Kasia and my cousin Trisha. I was trying to rationalize aloud how I'm NEVER late for work and I NEVER call out so everything should be fine, but admitted that if I got into trouble for being late to work I would be putting in my two weeks notice.

Luckily a man came over and told me that I wasn't going to get into trouble for being late but if it ever happened again- even for a minute- I would be fired.

Happy dreams!

(Monday night's dream involved me going up a huge hill to buy a toilet from a man at a gas station. I had to pull it on a little wagon but all of the various porcelain pieces kept falling off and I was getting so frustrated trying to get it home. Crazy anxiety!)

The first dream started with my family and I heading up North to go camping. Along the way we stopped at a gas station and I was searching everywhere for a frozen bean burrito as if my life depended on it. (Whenever I visit my hometown there is always this strange transformation I go through on my first day back, and I remember being a bit excited to get back into this "redneck" way of living/thinking.) My mom asked if I could find a phone book for her and I glanced over to find an old, dirty section of a Yellow Pages laying on the floor beneath the payphone. I said "I found it, but it's only useful if you're calling someone between "S" and "Z"" which made everyone giggle.

The clerk showed me to the burritos and once I saw the brown wrapper I became elated at the idea of eating it. I was just about to heat it up when she mentioned that they also had a Taco Bell brand "spicy burrito" and my sister Erin chimed in with "Ummm...I think I'd go with the Taco Bell one because it has mint!" Kasia convinced me to get it (even though I hate mint!) so I heated it up and brought it to the counter as my dad played a few scratch-off cards.

Next I was in the restaurant section of a bar drinking coffee with my old friends Bob and Phish and we were discussing various novels. Phish was trying to describe a certain book and I mentioned how it sounded very Freudian and they both couldn't stop laughing about it. Then he said "Was the author Peepants Jackson?" and we all broke out laughing even harder as if it was the funniest thing we had ever heard. He mentioned how great it was to laugh like we did when we were younger and I was so happy to be around them again.

As we got up to leave we shouted goodbye to the woman who obviously knew who we were and I remember each of us flipping a quarter onto the table for a tip like we often used to do.

As they headed outside I decided I should use the bathroom first and walked into the back bar area. As I passed the woman at the register I felt really bad for giving such a bad tip so I kept my head down low.

The restrooms were two large blue doors next to the dart machine so I waited for a woman to throw her dart before slipping past. Once inside it was almost completely dark and I had no shoes on so I was trying to tiptoe over the wet spots of the cement to keep my socks from getting wet. I made my way to one of the stalls and realized there was no toilet so I walked out and stepped into the other one. There were a few men waiting to use it as well but I jumped in before they had a chance to react.

As my eyes finally adjusted to the darkness I could see a small little slitted opening in the floor of the stall and I assumed it was the hole left from when the toilet was removed. I started peeing into it but the amount that missed the hole had formed a small stream and began trickling out of the stall, but I didn't care. I decided I would just stumble out acting like I was drunk, but it never came to that as I woke up in mid-stream.

When I fell back asleep I was at a party with my friends Amanda, Cassaundra and a few others. At one point I came up behind Cassaundra and gave her a big hug which made this other guy jealous so he pulled her in the next room to mess around for a bit. When they had finished she came back out complaining about his jealousy, and as she talked she began undressing and slipping into this sexy little outfit (lace, feathers, the works!) which she then covered back up with her regular clothes. (It was obvious that she was preparing to do something nice for this guy although we didn't discuss it.)

Just before she took off her shirt I could see her huge, beautiful nipples poking out and I tried to kill the awkwardness (which thankfully wasn't really there) by saying "I see your raisins!" and she just laughed and repeated the joke in her best South Park voice: "Okay girls, show us your raisins!" I was laughing as well, while subtly taking in the curves of her thick, delicious body. She knew I had already seen her half naked so she was totally comfortable standing there with her amazingly shaped breasts exposed, but when she slipped into her sexy undies she sat down and kept her legs pressed together so I could tell she was still weird about me seeing her bottom half. However, when she stood to pull up her jeans I got a quick glimpse of her swollen lips bulging out of her crotchless panties and I commented on how huge they were. We giggled about it but my heart was racing with shocking delight. I could have died right there and I would have been perfectly happy.

Kasia and I left the party soon after, and we sat on the curb in front of the house while some popular rap artist was wandering through the street with a fake microphone being all arrogant and singing/shouting to anyone who would listen. As he walked by us you could see the excitement on every one's face and I hated every second of it. Kasia was wearing a pirate outfit for some reason, and we eventually made our way over to a fence about a block away from the house. The fence had a large hole in it and the other side was completely covered by shrubs and weeds which made it difficult to figure out how we would get through it as it was almost dark outside. I used the flashlight app on my iphone to see how thick the shrubs were and it looked manageable so we decided to crawl in.

At this point Helene G. (one of my job contacts) was there and she kept nudging her breast against my arm. I couldn't be certain if it was being done intentionally but I could tell she wasn't wearing a bra so I assumed she knew what she was doing.

In the last dream my old friend Floyd was staying at my apartment. I have a bunch of things that I planned to send out to him for xmas (which is true) and I was gathering all these things while he wandered around my room examining the various objects in my life. He pointed out the apartment across the street and I explained that I've always wanted to live there. As I peered into the windows it looked old and dirty, and I didn't think it was nice at all.

It's strange how in dreams I often find myself saying something that isn't true at all, even though at the time I can tell it's exactly what I'm supposed to say. Very odd.

The dream started with me in the back of my hotel which resembled a loading dock area. I was heading towards the building with all of the housekeeping women and I was explaining to them which garage doors were being used for laundry (even though in reality we don't have a back area like this so I would have no idea where the laundry should go).

As I approached the doors I noticed a group of birds in a bird feeder who were all fluttering around a bird in the center who lay motionless on its back. I could see the other birds making little balls of saliva between their beaks and I could tell that it was a desperate attempt to revive the lifeless bird who was obviously dying of hunger/thirst.

I found a small patch of snow on the ground and quickly scooped it up and threw it onto the bird, hoping there was still a chance. Within a few seconds the bird was eating the snow and I knew immediately that he was going to be okay.

Later I stood in that same area on my lunch break playing a "hot potato" type game with seven other people (four people standing shoulder to shoulder facing the other team) and it was so much fun.

In the next dream Kasia and I had just moved into a a beautiful huge loft for $1600 and Kasia was so excited to have a moving in party so she could cook in her new kitchen. We had a pet that resembled a small animal tail about six inches long with little eyes in the front. I kept trying to take pics of it with my iphone but when I went to view them they were all just pics of scantily clad women.

One day I came home and noticed that someone had broken in and had stolen the brown travel suitcase which I used during my travels in Europe. Later on I confronted an Asian man who admitted to taking it and he said it was because the prior owners has owed him money. I was so pissed, but I didn't want to tell Kasia because I didn't want to worry her.

Somehow the dream had morphed into my co-worker Jarrod and I living in this same apartment and we were outside talking to our co-worker Jen who was on her bike. It was getting dark outside so she was about to leave, and as he leaned over to give her the side-cheek kiss goodbye I could immediately sense there was some chemistry between the two of them. I leaned over and gave her the same quick kiss and began walking towards the apartment so they could be alone for a moment. Jarrod mentioned that we needed more water and Diet Cherry Coke so I went over to a little garage area which was full of crates of ransom cases of soda and water. They had a system where you were able to scan your credit card and take whatever what you wanted. As I grabbed a huge case of the Coke I remember thinking how strange it was to be living with Jarrod and drinking soda since I haven't drank soda regularly since I was in high school.

Moments later Jarrod met up with me and jokingly hassled me for kissing Jen too (can you blame me?) and we laughed about it as we headed back home.

The dream started with me marching through the snow with a bunch of people. We were in a foreign country and one of the people we were with got lost so we all had to wait around until they caught up.

Next, we were at Kasia's sister's house listening to records and I was entertaining myself by putting all the records into their correct sleeves. When her husband Marcin got home we were suddenly in a rush to go somewhere and we were all hungry trying to decide where to eat. Marcin said "Let's just stop at Taco Bell" which delighted me as I have been waiting for years for an excuse to eat there again. Before I could show my excitement Kasia said "No, I'm NOT eating Taco Bell!"and I tried to explain to her that I had waited six years for this opportunity.

I decided that I was going to go get Taco Bell anyways and told Kasia that I would meet up with her later. I ended up driving around by myself (I never did get my delicious taco bell) and then later I met back up with Kasia who was now sitting with her friend Kathy W. at an outdoor concert of some sort. Kathy was talking really loud and I was afraid the person she was sitting next to was going to complain, but after a few minutes I realized that she was actually with her so I was relieved.

Next, I was in my parents kitchen preparing to go to my high school reunion. I called my old friend Craig U. to find out the details and he explained that we were supposed to wear something that we wore in high school. He said "Just put on a pair of Corduroys" but deep down I planned to wear a skirt or a dress just for the nostalgic shock value.

I was in a bathroom with Jen B. and another guy, and Jen was wearing a white "wife-beater" t-shirt. For some reason Jen unfastened the back of her bra and pulled it out from under her t-shirt.  As I started to make a joke about how were about to get it on she started to take off her t-shirt as well and the guy we were with started to walk closer to her thinking it was a hint that she wanted him. I chuckled a bit and said "You're not going to get any!" which pissed him off. He left quickly and I just sat there wondering what I was supposed to do.

In the next dream I was walking around NYC with my mom and sisters. Everyone was complaining about being hungry so we stopped at a burger stand but they said there was a half an hour wait so we continued on. We walked up 8th Avenue and I called Kasia to check the cross streets of a certain restaurant we liked (?) and she said it was between 15th and 16th Avenue (which doesn't make any sense). I could picture how amazing these burgers were and then it occurred to me that I had just taken my parents there 2 weeks ago. They didn't mind going back but I wanted to find another place that was just as good.

I was in a bedroom with Kasia and two other girls and (in true dreamworld fashion) we were about to engage in a foursome. We were all aware that my sisters and someone else were sleeping in the next room and one of the girls had a brilliant idea to call out to them to make sure they were asleep. Not taking any chances, I slowly slid off the bed and tiptoed into the next room to ensure they were oblivious to what we were about to do. When I peeked in they all appeared to be asleep until I saw Shannon's eyes pop open and I knew she was not quite asleep, but I wasn't going to let it stop me from having this moment. I went back into the other room and assured everyone that everything was fine, and grabbed my iphone in preparation of documenting the joys that were about to come.

Kasia and another girl came over and started giving me a blowjob and I was trying extra hard to concentrate on taking pics because I didn't want to cum before I was able to use up every drop of their interest. I was laying there wondering how I was able to get so lucky when for some reason Kasia had to get up and answer a phone call. The rest of us used the time to take some cool nude posing pics using shadows and mirrors, and at one point I was taking a shot of myself naked and one of the girls was very vocal about how "hot" my nipple rings looked.

Next, I was riding a bike around the city when I got a phone call from the Williams sisters. Serena Williams called and said "I want you to guess why I'm calling you." I responded with "Well, you obviously need something very embarrassing, and by using this reverse psychosis you're trying to get me to say something really dirty/inappropriate so that I'll look like a perv and then whatever you were going to ask won't look as bad by comparison. Well I'm not going to fall for it, so the ball is in your court."

There was a pause before I heard her and Venus talking and I interrupted them saying "Get it? The BALL is in your COURT? Did you like how I added that in?"

For some reason I thought I knew where they were calling me from so this entire time I was riding around ready to surprise them at any minute.

The call was lost, and later I would get a text from Serena telling me that they were going to be in a parade and it would mean the world to them if I was able to get a stretch limo for them. I chuckled at the simplicity of the request and texted her back assuring her that I would take care of it.

Next, I was in a house with Kasia and another guy and we were watching the band 'Kings of Leon' play in his living room. There were only around 20 people in attendance and I commented how shocked I was to see such a popular band have such a poor turnout.

For some reason I was moving a dresser around the apartment and I tried to get it down the hallway without disturbing the concert.

Afterwards Kasia and I went outside onto his porch and there were about four guys standing outside in the yard. This is when I received the text from Serena, so as I texted her back Kasia started doing a new party trick for the guys- she took her sweatshirt off and even though she had a white t-shirt on underneath she would let it ride up with the sweatshirt exposing the bottom half of her breasts (without a bra, because no one in my dreams should ever be wearing a bra). There were people eating on the porch of a restaurant next door and they were appalled, which amused me even more.

The guys hooted and cheered as she laughed and teasingly lifted up the t-shirt a few more times, and as they became even more riled up they turned her around and pulled down her pants to get a view of her beautiful ass. One of them started to grab her cheeks which she didn't seem to mind, and normally I wouldn't either but I could tell they were doing it in a disrespectful way so I said "Okay, party's over!"and pulled her pants back up. I thought it was weird how I was the prude for once. ; )

I was in a train station with Kasia and another girl (possibly our friend Jen B.) when suddenly two guys came up and spit on them. One of the men was wearing a green and white horizontally striped short and as he ran off the other girl turned and looked at me as if to say "Well aren't you going to do something?!"

I ran after him but he was always just a bit too fast, and as I ran through the various rooms of the station I eventually lost track of him. As I ran into the last room at the end of the station I encountered a turnstile and beyond it was a bunch of security guards and a line of people waiting to be screened as if we were at an airport. I jumped the turnstile and as I did I could feel my entire body start to buzz. I was surrounded by guards ready to arrest me but as I tried to catch my breath I described the man in a green striped shirt, exclaiming "We gotta find him!"

One of the guards went up to this makeshift metal platform that acted as a loft and sounded an alarm. He pulled out a walkie-talkie and started to notify the rest of the station and suddenly I started to wonder if I would get into trouble once they realized that they were going through all the trouble just for a guy who spit on my friend.

Just then the guard looked at the clock on the wall and said "Oh and the clocks stopped too. Right now they say 2 o'clock pm, 1980."

The girl I who had been spit on had caught up with me and we looked at each other as if to say "Could it be true?" She had her headphones on and was listening to Cyndi Lauper, and I wondered if her music was even available in 1980.

We went outside and peered back into the windows of the station, which now looked into the bedroom of the man who spit on her. I climbed through the window and thought for sure he would notice me, but he didn't. I suddenly realized it was because we didn't exist in 1980 (not true, lol!) and therefore he was unable to see me. He was laying in his bed and I went up to him, pulled a sheet over his face, and punched him on the head as he writhed around wondering what the hell was going on.

The dream ended with me and Kasia in a house putting our pants on. I accidentally put hers on and the waist was so high it came up to my chest and I wondered how she was able to wear them. It occurred to me that I would be running a race the next day so I took her pants off and searched for my red jogging pants so I could run a few laps in anticipation of the big day.

I had snuck into someones apartment with two other friends to leave the resident an envelope with a key in it. I wrote that I was a Concierge and had even written my hotel name on it, although I later regretted giving her so much information about me.

We opened the bedroom window to jump out and they both jumped the 10 stories to the ground without hesitating. They were yelling up to assure me that I would land safely and somehow I had a feeling that it might be a dream, but once I looked down I suddenly didn't want to assume I was dreaming so I carefully slid down a pipe that ran alongside the bedroom window. When I reached the bottom I realized that I had forgotten to grab the envelope with the key in it (Confused? Me too.) so I scurried back up the pipe and reached in to grab it. As I peeked in I noticed that the resident was now home and she had written on the envelope in red "I'm a Concierge too!"

Next I went into another apartment building and I was with an African American family. We took a very long elevator ride and when we reached a certain floor we had to get out and take a different elevator, only this time it resembled a small living-room with a couch and we were pulled one by one up to the apartment much like a giant dumbwaiter. Once it reached the floor the elevator blended in to be a part of the apartment. I was amazed.

When I arrived the entire family was waiting to meet me. They had cleaned up but you could still tell by the ragged furniture and outdated appliances that they were poor. They were making me dinner and the youngest daughter was telling me how she had a lottery ticket book and her friend could always tell how much she was going to win. I asked her and her friends if they had ever seen another apartment like theirs and they all said no, except for one girl who said "Yeah, twelve" but I knew she was lying.

I was just about to show the daughter how all lottery tickets have the letters of the winning amount written along the ticket but my alarm went off before I had the chance.

I was staying at a hotel in Lebanon with two other friends (?) and it was the middle of the night. I had a gun and with my curiosity trumping my fear I made the two others explore the hotel/ hostel with me. We found our way to the basement and found a photo album, and as we flipped through the pages we came across a picture of a theatre family with creepy black makeup on their faces. One of them was completely blackfaced, which indicated that these must be old pictures since they could never get away with that nowadays.

I tried to take some pics of the photo with my phone but I they all kept turning out blurry.

Next, I was in the hotel bedroom again and I had a dream that my mom was cutting my hair. When I "woke up" from that dream I had somehow shaved my beard as well and we were all creeped out because that meant I had shaved it off in my sleep.

I made my way down to a cafeteria where everyone was eating pizza for breakfast. An old friend from college (I don't remember who) came up to me and offered some of his breakfast to me. He had four pieces of pizza so I took a few pieces from him and that's when I woke up for realsies.

The dream started out in a car on the way back to my parents' house with my dad driving. We had just picked up and old neighbor of my grandma named Kelly W. and she was going to be babysitting my sisters that night. They were going to pay Kelly and her sister Jen $250.00 each but I reminded my dad that I would be able to help out for free since I'd be home anyways.

I was living back at my parents house and my room was still in the basement, only my bed was just a mattress at the bottom of the stairs. When we got home I went down to my room and I was so excited for my parents to leave because I knew I'd have about an hour to jerk off to some porn. Once inside I noticed a cassette tape laying next to the stereo, and when I pushed play it was a tape of me convincing my ex-girlfriend Emily to have sex with me. I was being all funny and nonchalant and as I listened to her give in I pictured us peeling each others clothes off and fucking as the morning light became brighter, making its way into the basement and illuminating our bodies dancing naked on the small red mattress.

At the same time I could see my sister (who couldn't have been older than three) up in her room playing with a remote control and she was able to tune in to the video of Emily and I fucking and I was so embarrassed.

Next I was at my friend Jen B's place, which was a house on the outskirts of Appleton with beautiful views of the landscape from her upstairs windows. I was downstairs in the basement with some girl while everyone else was upstairs and she was leaning against a dresser with her back to me, obviously prepared for a sexual encounter. I wasn't sure how "ready" she was so I pulled down her pants and kneeled down to lick her crotch to lube it with my saliva. I had just stood up and was entering her from behind when we heard someone coming downstairs so we quickly pulled our pants up before they found out. It ended up being bunch of people who came down to watch TV so we knew we wouldn't have another chance.

Within minutes of being in that room I wandered into another room in the basement area, only this time I was met by a smaller framed girl who obviously wanted to fuck me. She was skinny with A cup breasts (basically the complete opposite of what I'm attracted to) but it had been a long time since someone was so attracted to me and I decided to give it a try.

She was wearing a tan/gold colored dress and when she laid down on the bed her breasts completely disappeared and I stared at her flat chest through the thin material, which was nothing more than two nipples sticking up. I went down by her legs and stuck my hand up her skirt, rubbing her lips through her dark blue panties, knowing how turned on she was getting. The strange part of this dream was that I was suddenly made aware of being married to Kasia (she normally doesn't exist in these sex dreams) and I couldn't bring myself to go any further.

There was some commotion in the room above us and I ran upstairs to find that a tornado was making its way across Appleton. I desperately tried to contact my sisters and felt terrible because I knew I was supposed to be watching them and I knew how scared they must have been. I scrambled around trying to find my camera but I couldn't find all of the pieces which frustrated me to no end. By the time I had the camera assembled it was too late- the tornado had already passed and the sky was getting too dark to take a pic.

I went back downstairs and found myself at my co-worker Fran's house. Her husband was gone, her kids were sleeping in the other room and we were laying on her bed talking about nothing in particular. I reached my hand over and started to rub her lips through the fabric of her red pajama bottoms, and she let me do it for a bit before smirking and taking my hand away, gently letting me know that there would be no hanky- panky that fine evening.

Next, Kasia and I had just returned home from somewhere and we were outside looking for our keys. A bunch of other people had come up behind us and were now waiting to get in as well. Through the glass of the door I could see Jim Parsons (from the TV show 'Big Bang Theory') talking to a friend and when he saw us outside he came to the door to let us in. As we walked into the foyer (which looked like the lobby of a fancy hotel like St. Regis or The Plaza) we passed Jim and his friend and I said "Thanks Mr. Parsons" and he smiled so big it was clear that he was honored to be recognized.

We started to make our way up the grand staircase which stood in the middle of the room and all of the other people who were outside followed us up as well. When we got halfway up I could tell that Kasia was completely starstruck (which never happens) and after we let everyone else pass us we turned around and went back downstairs to sit on one of the beautiful couches in the hopes that Jim and his friend would come over and talk to us.

We could hear them in the next room (which was a kitchen) discussing which types of eggs to use and Jim was discussing the importance of using organic eggs. At that point Kasia had figured out that the other guy was the child actor from Jerry Maguire, only now he was our age. When he came out of the kitchen he sat down in a chair across from us and immediately I could tell that it wasn't the kid she had thought. He was holding a carton of brown organic eggs and he was shaking them to reveal that they were liquefied.

Before I could say a word he sat up and threw it at me, and as made contact with my chest a small green yolk popped out as the rest of it stayed intact. As I picked it up he threw two more at me and I yelled out to ask him what he was doing. Luckily they were only breaking where the yolk hit the shell so I wasn't getting very wet and as I gathered them up I began throwing them back and he laughed harder and harder as each one made a thud against his face. I was so confused as to why he was so amused and I couldn't enjoy it because I was afraid of Jim coming into the room and getting pissed off at us.

I woke up before I could find out.

The Doule family had rented a cabin and my friend Hilary was there with her brother, only it was actually my friend Tara H.'s brother Jeff. The first part of the dream was spent eating dinner in the cabin and I had all my belongings there as if I had moved in.

Afterwards everyone was outside drinking and I kept going inside to get more food but every time I went in I noticed food all over the floor so I kept getting onto my knees and picking it up with my hands. At one point I was picking up spaghetti from the floor and putting it onto my plate and when I got outside I didn't know which was the good spaghetti and which came from the floor.

The last thing I recall is talking to Hilary as we were outside with my family, and I had mentioned that I wanted to take some pics of the house before I left. Hilary smirked and said "Just as friends?" which makes no sense now but in the dream I knew it was referring to me asking her that same question when we first met. It meant that she was teasing me because I had my chance with her when we first met and I blew it by being too subtle.

Boring dream, I know.

I was in a coffee shop-type setting and I was sitting at a table with about six other people. My job was to sit and wait for people to come by so I could suggest places to go (IE Concierge) and everyone else seemed to have customers sitting across from them. The chair across from me was always empty and I was afraid I would get into trouble for not having enough customers.

Next I was in a bedroom with Kasia and two other people. Kasia was wearing this really sexy black lingerie and she was hunched up on all fours so that her tantalizing ass was sticking up and teasing all of us. I crawled over and pulled her panties down, giving them a perfect view of her exposed beauty. I crawled on top of her and proceeded to fuck her in front of the others.

Next I was riding on a semi truck and at some point I fell off and had to run and jump onto the back of it as it sped down the street flying under bridges and overpasses. As it neared an intersection I jumped off, and realizing how far I was from the coffee shop I decided to run down the sidewalk as fast as I could.

After a few blocks I passed two young African American kids and one of them smacked the other across the face. I ran by thinking how cruel older brothers can be.

When I got to the coffee shop people were packing things up (which were temporarily set up in preparation of a race or some other event from that day) and they were happy to see that I had made it back.

I ended up having to help hang up signs on the wall and as I glued the backs of them with a gluestick I noticed that they were old posters of my High School band Mister Carrot. My old guitar player Joe S. was there and I went up and put him in a headlock and laughed about ruining the old posters. I was so happy to see him.

I was hanging out on the balcony of my old friend Jeremy R.'s apartment (Floyd) with one other friend (?) and we were listening to an advertisement about a new McDonald's that you could only get to by jumping from one building to another. As the commercial was still playing we noticed a McDonald's delivery man jumping off of a balcony in the building adjacent to Jeremy's. I was amazed by this new discovery and practically begged the other two to jump over to it with me but neither of them would do it.

Next I was driving down an old dirt road and I came upon a huge field with tall grass and beautiful dandelions and wheat stalks sprinkled throughout. I got out of my car and walked into the field and lay down, wondering how long it had been since I was able to do such a wonderful thing. I debated taking off all of my clothes and pleasuring myself in the isolated openness of my surroundings, but before the thought could come to fruition another car pulled up with a family in it and suddenly I was forced to share my beautiful seclusion.

The first thing I recall is being in a thrift store and shopping with my mom. I was just in the process of purchasing about ten new t-shirts and as the woman rang them up I realized I had no money so I had to go ask my mom for some. It's very odd for me not to have money and felt bad asking her for it because I can't even tell you when I last borrowed money from her.

Next I was babysitting my cousin Zachary who was so small I could fit him inside of a small paper bag. I decided to play a joke on my aunt Betsy so when I brought him back to her I gave her a huge bag of garbage and told her that I lost him. Then I laughed and explained that was joking, but as I looked through the garbage he was nowhere to be found. He ended up coming over to us a few minutes later and he was so pissed that I had forgotten him at the park. He was now bigger and resembled the boy from the TV show 'Two And a Half Men'.

Next, I was babysitting for someones teenage daughters and one was sleeping in my bed so I had planned on sleeping on the couch. Some old friends came by (my old guitarist Joe S. and elementary schoolmate Andy M.) and we were hanging out and talking. At one point I went into the bathroom and pulled my hair back to discover that the front half of my scalp was completely bald, leaving the back half to act as a comb over. I explained to everyone that it sucked but at the same time I had a great run and I didn't really care since it was concealed pretty well anyways. I told them that once I lost a bit more I would just shave it all off and be bald.

The dream ended with my cousin Christian and I skateboarding down my parents' street and he was doing all kinds of cool tricks while I just skated normally, as I had no intention of trying to do a trick because I knew I'd hurt myself.

We talked about his marriage and when I brought up someones name he said "Ahh yes, she was the one I was married to for one day back in '86" and I thought "Holy shit! He was married when we were THAT young?!"

I forgot the first part of the dream, but it ended with me going into a hotel room with Kasia, our friend Jen B. and a few other people. Jen was peeking down the front of her skirt and then blurted out "Wanna see my underwear?" Before anyone could answer she lifted up her skirt and threw her legs high into the air, revealing her shiny hot purple panties with light purple polka dots. I recall noticing that the seams along the sides and across the middle were perfectly shaped and really good quality, almost as if they were custom made for her crotch.

In the next dream I was at work the day after Halloween (even though Halloween isn't until tomorrow!) and a guest came over to my desk asking for some aspirin. I told him it was $4.00 for a packet of 2 and he threw what looked like a dollar bill at me and said "I need two." He was obviously upset with the price, and when I picked up the bill I realized it was a "Sky Miles" credit good for $20.00. As I walked away I had forgotten what type of aspirin he wanted so I figured I would just bring him a bunch of different kinds and let him choose.

When I got to the door of the What/When department I realized I was wearing a pair of tight, fuzzy baby-blue PJs, much like my pink pair only this one was a two piece. The top came just above my belly button and the bottoms came midway up my calves, and since I just had an erection I still had the bulge going up my belly. I stood there quickly trying to talk it down, all the while wondering how I was going to explain why I was wearing such a ridiculous outfit. I decided I would just say that it's my Halloween outfit (a day late) and hopefully I wouldn't get into trouble. Also, I knew if Fran was working I wouldn't have to worry about getting into trouble for having an erection because she'd just laugh about it.

I knew exactly where the aspirin was and I was hoping to just dash in, grab it and leave without anyone noticing, but when I opened the door it was as if the entire building had changed. My co-worker Houria was sitting there answering calls, but there were now three doors along the walls and you could tell the walls and doors were brand new because the construction workers were still there hammering and cutting and sawing away at things. My new boss Thomas came into the room from one of the doors and upon seeing me he smiled at the obviousness of my confusion. I asked him where the aspirin was moved to and he said "Oh it's downstairs in my office now." I had him get me the packets while I stood there covering myself with a handbag of some sort.

When I got back to the desk and gave the guy his aspirin I noticed my co-worker Gilmar had packed up the computer and was getting ready to leave. A guest had come over to ask him about the Statue of Liberty and he was just about to turn his computer back on when I offered to help him.
The dream ended with Gilmar, Jen E. (Also from Concierge) and I walking through a parking lot. Gilmar was ahead of us and Jen and I stayed behind joking and laughing, and I was wondering if I was supposed to be going back to work or not.

I guess not.

I was living where my parents house is and each morning Kasia's co-worker Lisa would pick me up to take me to work. I was working in a school/ museum and Lisa was hired on to photograph a specific painting which was hanging in one of the hallways. She could only work on it until 9:00am so I would go in early to help her out.

One day she found out (or maybe decided) that she would have to pose nude next to the painting and I explained that a few of us would volunteer to hold up a sheet so that the other people walking through would not be able to see her.

Somehow this all had to do with a pigeon and we spent most of the dream in this large, warehouse-type room (much like the abandoned building in Scranton, PA where I Urban Explored with my friends Dave and Chris) consisting of thousands of old cages filled with various animals. There was dirt and dander everywhere, and all of the cages were covered with dried feces from the animals in the cages above.

There was one cage in particular that we focused on which had about nine individual cages within it, and all of them were empty except for two. These two little cages held the pigeons that we were supposed to be taking care of and I spent a lot of time with them while Lisa was out.

One day I decided that they shouldn't be confined to the cages so I purposely left the door open to see if they were interested in leaving. I went out of the room for a bit and when I returned I found that both the pigeons had left. I knew they were somewhere in the room and I yelled out to let them know that I would he filling up their water dishes and they were welcome to return without fear that I would lock them back in.

Eventually Lisa found out what I had done and although I'm not sure if she was upset I knew that she was concerned about getting one of them back because she needed it for the photo shoot.

I was able to find the one she was looking for and as I gently captured it I recalled hearing that the bird had previously belonged to Jerry Seinfeld. As we neared the cage I explained to the pigeon (I believe his name was Snowflake) that I would just need to put him back into the cage until after the shoot. He dug his beak into my hand and as I cringed in pain he looked up at me with those eyes that said "I'm NOT getting back into that cage without letting you know how pissed I am about it."

The dream ended with me back in my parents bathroom peeing until I woke up.

Kasia and I had gone to my Grandma Doule's house and I brought my camera bag and an old toy I owned when I was younger called My Pet Monster. My friend Dave G. was there and he and I got really drunk with my cousin Shauna. Eventually we passed out upstairs and we awoke to my sister's boyfriend Chad P. and my parents waking us up to tell us that the cops were on their way and we had to go because we were trespassing, as we weren't invited to the party. My parents were there as a "plus one" so they didn't have to leave but chose to anyways.

I told Dave were were leaving and I knew he wasn't sure why but I didn't have time to explain. Kasia and I got downstairs where I got my camera bag and My Pet Monster and we ran outside just as the cop car was pulling up to the front of the house with its lights flashing. Luckily my car was parked in the driveway around the corner so we were able to get to the other side of the house without being seen. It had been snowing heavily and the snowdrifts were huge. We got in the car but the engine wouldn't turn over and I was afraid mom and dad would have to give us a jump without the cops noticing.

Just as my parents were approaching the driveway (they were parked on the street) the car started and I slammed on the gas and turned around in the driveway as quickly as I could. there was a five foot drift covering the end of the driveway an I was certain we would get stuck but I had to take the risk. To our surprise the car went right up and over it with ease, and once on the street I was so relieved because even if we were pulled over at this point they wouldn't know we were at the party.

Later at home I found out that my Grandma was upset with Dave and I for taking nude pics of Shauna. I recall seeing a photo of a closeup of her nipple and it had a cute little barbell in it. I didn't recall taking it but I wasn't worried about her being angry about it because she was a bit rebellious and she would want everyone to know she had her nipples pierced. There was also a great pic of Dave, Shauna and I at the party just smiling and drunk out of our minds and I figured my grandma would forgive us once she saw how wasted we were. Still, I hated the idea that she was upset since I hardly ever saw her and I didn't want that drift between us.

The first thing I recall is I being a guest in someones house and staying in a room that overlooked the city. We had tickets to see a concert that evening, but as we were getting ready to leave we heard gunshots outside, which ended up being from rival gangs in the area. Whoever I was with said that the show might be cancelled now, which sucked because The Red Hot Chili Peppers were scheduled to headline and I was excited to see them since I've been reading Anthony Keidis's autobiography.

We ended up at the show dancing to this performer who resembled the actor from Arrested Development and we all knew his songs. As we sang along we were cutting out fake tattoos to put on and just before I put one on my right arm I noticed I had a tattoo of a Japanese fan on my bicep with a dagger next to it. I wasn't sure if it was real, or when or where I would have done it if it was.

I ended up going with another dagger, a manger from the nativity scene, and a pic of jesus giving the 'surfs up' sign. So badass.

I was driving around in a park looking for my parents. There were two baby wolves walking around and all of a sudden I saw this huge beast of a wolf come running up thinking that I was putting the babies in danger. I honked my horn to scare him away and drove off as quickly as I could.

Next, I was in the park again, only this time there was couple with a little boy there. They came up to me with a Morrissey CD and asked if I had heard of him. I lightly laughed and said "Of course! Of all the artists in the world he's probably # 7 on my list." Although I had that I had never seen the CD they had and I was curious to hear what was on it.

I took them back to my house (I was living with my parents) and as they hung out with my family I scrambled around looking for my Morrissey CDs. I ended up finding them in a filing cabinet in a hallway of a High School (which all happened in a quick second). I brought them back to the house for the boy to look through and then went over and began burning the 'Louder Than Bombs' CD for him. I decided it was the best album to get him into, even though technically it's the Smiths and not his solo stuff.

When I turned on the stereo system the TV came on and there was an image of Kasia naked so I quickly turned it off before he noticed. There was a sense of urgency in all of this and I was trying to get it done as fast as I could.

Next I had come home from work and it was my birthday and no one remembered. That's all I recall but it still sucked.

In the last dream I went to take a shower but the bathtub was full of chestnuts. I yelled about why there were chestnuts all over the tub and I was annoyed with Kasia for putting them there.
I opened the window and started throwing them out into the huge cornfield that seemed to surround the entire house and all of the birds started flocking over by me expecting more so I had to close the window to keep them from coming in. There was a really cool large bird eating in the field and although a nut almost hit him he didn't even flinch.

I turned around to see my friend Lee B's friends helping to clean my yard and I recall thinking "Wow, Lee's friends are just so cool! I have to remember to tell her when I get the chance!"

Not the most interesting of dreams, but I'll post them anyways:

I first thing I remember is being in an abandoned futuristic theme park with my old High School friend Amanda W. We were taking pics of all the crazy metal shapes and the entire time we were there it was apparent that we were not supposed to be there. The last thing I remember from this is taking a pic of a large rat that was sitting on a power box, and as it crawled further behind the box there was a large explosion and a piece of it's tail came hurling towards me, getting blood on my hand in the process.

In the next dream I was at work and it was really slow so I decided to leave a bit early. I had changed out of my uniform and was back upstairs near the desk when my old boss Jana S. came up to me and started yelling at me for leaving without her permission. I looked over at the desk and realized that my co-worker Gilmar had left as well and there was no one watching the desk.

Next, I was in a hotel room with my sisters and my cell phone was ringing but I didn't want to answer it because the caller id option wasn't working. Eventually I did and it turned out to be my cousin Tina trying to see if we all wanted to hang out.

The last dream I recall is going ice skating with my old friend/bassist John M. We had just come from under a tunnel onto the rink and I was nervous about whether or not I would remember how to skate.

Kasia and I had taken a trip down to Florida (which actually resembled Arizona) and we decided to climb up into one of the canyons to go bike riding. As we were climbing we had discussed how we may want to move there since it was just so breathtaking.

As we approached the top of a gigantic rock I could tell that it was becoming much too steep to turn and climb back down so I just hoped that when we reached the top there would be a way to get back onto solid ground.

Kasia had become overheated and by the time I was able to push her up to the top she had become despondent and slumped down onto the rock. Unaware of her situation, I feared she would wake back up and try to get up so I stood still with her tightly between my feet.

As I looked around I realized that there was a spot where we could jump to solid ground but there was a five foot crevasse and I didn't want to risk it. We must have been hundreds of feet up and the rock we were on was about 15 feet in circumference so at this point I decided to just stay still and call 911.

I took out my cell phone and dialed the emergency button all the time realizing how much trouble this was going to get us into. A woman answered the phone and I had to try with all my might to keep composure. "Hi, my name is Kelly and my girlfriend...er...umm..WIFE are on top of a rock in the canyon and we have no way of getting down."

The first thing out of her mouth was a muttered "Yessssss" and I knew that she was happy to get such an exciting call. She put me on hold and looking around one last time for a way off the rock I noticed a small path that led down a trail. I stabilized Kasia on the rock as much as possible and ran down the trail as quickly as I could until I approached a gated house which blocked the trail. The gate was open and I ran inside to the back window and was able to open it up and climb through, and once I was the trail again I knew we were safe.

As I ran back to the rock I was becoming angry that I was still on hold with the operator because I wanted to tell her that we were okay and no longer needed assistance. But as I ran I could hear the emergency helicopter roaring over the tree tops, and by the time I arrived there were about 20 various emergency personnel rushing around the scene. Kasia had already been pulled onto solid ground and although I knew we would probably be charged hundreds of dollars for this, at least Kasia was going to be okay.

I was working in a dim lit factory and I had my own little section away from everyone else. My old co-worker Steven Schlanger was there and he has just pulled me aside to tell me he was going to be in Brooklyn with some friends that evening and he wanted some ideas as to where he should take them.

The entire time I was there you could sense this tension of strict management and everyone acted as if we would get in trouble at any time. We were both standing next to one of those spinning racks that held Christmas cards and as we talked we would remove a card and pretend to read it so the boss wouldn't suspect anything.

As Steven and I spoke I noticed Kasia had shown up, so I headed back to my work area to talk to her. When I got there she was on the other side of a large gate that separated me from the next work section and as she spoke to me I could see her standing next to my co-worker Chris (from Security).

"I'm going to move in with (her co-worker) Katie."

I had no idea why she was telling me this.

"It's the only way I'm going to be able to afford to get my breast surgery."

I was shocked and pissed. "So you want ME to pay for your share of the rent so YOU can get your breasts done?!" I WON'T do it, I'm telling you right now!" (even though in reality I do pay all the rent so it wouldn't have mattered anyways.)

I asked her how much the surgery would be and she said "six hundred dollars." I told her I'd just pay for them rather than having her move out and as I was saying this I started to think "Why am I arguing about this? How cool that this is what she wants to do? I would have paid for it anyways!"

I could see Chris smirking as we talked and I decided to amuse him. "Fine. I'll pay for the surgery, but you're getting Double D's."

We were at a party at someones house and everyone was in the kitchen. Everyone was hanging out and getting ready for the trip we were about to take. I went into the living room and found Kasia's co-worker Lisa sitting in a chair eating chocolate chip cookies from a large Ziploc bag.
I sat down next to her and she reached over and discreetly rubbed her hand along my crotch.

Another girl came in and sat on the other side of her and as I reached in for a cookie I made sure to dig to the bottom so my thumb rubbed along her lips. Fearing that her friend would get the hint I said "Oops!" and moved the bag closer to her knees so it was away from her crotch.

Later I was in a large building looking for my friends. I walked down to one wing of the building and noticed hundreds of girls showering and changing and I realized I accidentally walked into the girls dressing room. I tried to escape quickly but all of the doors around me were locked so I was forced to turn around and walk back through the area again.

I kept my head down but was peeking as much as I could. ;)

The dream started out with me and Kasia hanging out in these strange, gigantic bamboo cages outside of someones house. A lemming had squeezed through the bars and even though it wasn't causing any threat we still kicked and yelled at it to ensure it left us alone.

The dream switched over to us attending a pool party with a bunch of people. I went inside to the bathroom and found my Texan friend Heather doing her hair and she had a small bottle of coke sitting on the sink. I asked if I could see it and when she handed it to me I shook the bottle so that a layer had stuck to my finger. I quickly took a sniff and walked back out to the pool before any suspicions arose.

When I got back to the pool all of the colors around me were so intense and I wondered how long it would take for the coke so fully kick in. My heart was slightly racing and I worried that I would become nervous and panicky but I never did. I was walking around with only a shirt on and at first I felt a bit awkward but slowly I became more comfortable with it when it appeared no one seemed to care. My mom was in the pool and as I knelt down we discussed how good the coke was, and how we were at that perfect level where our heartbeats weren't too out of control. I didn't tell Kasia I had taken it because I didn't want to get her mad.

I jumped into the pool, and as I waded around there was a cute girl there who swam over to me and began licking my left nipple. As she did this I reached under her shirt and pinched her nipple, amazed at my good fortune.

Moments later everyone got out of the pool and I ran into my old friend Craig Uhlenbrauck who was sitting on a couch nearby. I sat down next to him to make some small talk as his girlfriend proceeded to take some pics of the two of us together. After everyone was dressed we made our way outside, where a huge storm was approaching. Everyone scrambled to get inside but it hit too quickly for some of us to get back to the house. The wind was so powerful and we ended up seeking shelter on the side of a neighbor's house until it passed.

The dream ended with me and the nipple girl walking on one side of the street while Kasia and our friend Amanda walked on the other (not in a bad way; we were just going to separate places). Nipple girl wanted to stop and get some coffee so we stopped at a shop near a small zoo so she could get one to go.

I woke up as I waited outside for her.

I was in a basement with Kasia, Hilary and some other girl, and I was eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes. Kasia kept getting me ice throughout the night and I had been crushing the cubes in a bowl by hand to use it for making red margaritas for everyone.

At some point Kasia had fallen asleep and as I poured my self another bowl of cereal Hilary asked if she could have some. I poured her a huge bowl of Fruity Pebbles and was so excited to surprise her with this beautiful bowl of delicious colors (can you tell I skipped dinner last night?).
When I gave it to her the other girl asked if she could have another margarita and I was so annoyed that I would have to get up and crush some more ice instead of enjoying my cereal time with Hilary.

Later, this mystery girl and I were up on the rooftop with my cousin Christian as Hilary and Kasia slept down in the basement. The girl was wearing a big blue bridesmaids dress and was laying directly on top of me facing up at the stars. I was holding her around her waist, and as we all sat and talked I was talking with my hands, and as I set them back down I rested them on her bare thighs.

Instantly I realized I hardly knew this girl and I quickly removed them and put them back onto her stomach before the situation had a chance to become awkward. She must have already taken the hint because the next thing I knew she had indiscreetly slipped off of me from the waist down and was now softly rubbing my crotch with her hand.

I was surprised at her willingness, and Christian, taking the hint, excused himself and got up to go back down to the basement.

Once we were alone the girl turned around and started kissing me as our hands started exploring each others' curves. I was so excited because I had always wanted to know what it was like to slide my hands down the front of a big wedding gown but my alarm woke me up before I had my chance.

Curse the morning!!!

I was in Brooklyn with my dad watching TV, and I told him I was going out for a bit and he asked if I wanted to go see a movie. We ended up going to a bar to hang out with some of his friends, who turned out to be my uncle Tom and Bill G.

Next, I was in a gas station which I believe was down the street from where I was living in this dream, and I was buying a rose, cough drops, a Mounds candy bar, and some doughnuts. On the wall next to the cash register there was an ad displaying a used Cutlass for sale. It was $400.00 and I remember debating whether or not I needed a car.

The cashier was a friend of mine (?) and he was having troubles adding up all of my items.
When I got outside my friend Cassaundra came running up to see me. We were so happy to see each other. While she was laughing I leaned in and kissed her on the mouth and it made it awkward since her mouth was wide open.

A group of people came out of the gas station and a girl was holding a doughnut complaining that it was stale. She saw that I had doughnuts as well and asked me if mine was stale as well and I let her squeeze one just to check. When she found that mine was fresher she was upset and didn't want hers anymore. As she was about to throw it away a friend of mine (?) asked if she could have it since she didn't mind if it was stale.

I was staying in a dorm with my old High School friends John M. (my old bassist), Kevin R. and my co-worker Fran. It was late at night, and as we all lay down to sleep the boys went to sleep on the bed and I ended up spooning with Fran on a small couch that was barely wide enough to support our bodies. As she turned to lay on her stomach I stayed on my side and hugged the side of her body, allowing my cock to be known by pressing it against her thigh. I slowly rubbed my right hand down the small of her back until it had slid down her panties, resting my middle finger in the top of her butt crack (much like I do with Kasia). I told her that sleeping this way helps me to sleep and it seemed to amuse her.

The next morning the boys headed out for a bit and Fran and I stayed in the dorm. I don't recall the conversation surrounding it, but before I knew it I was pulling down her pants and panties and removed mine as well. I pushed her legs towards her torso until her knees were kissing her shoulders and brought my face down to her crotch so I could see her genitalia in great detail.

Somehow she had flipped around onto her knees so that her asshole was above her pussy lips, and I just sat staring at her smooth, tight, hairless asshole. I was close enough to inhale all of her wonderful scents and even debated running my tongue across all of her folds and holes it but I didn't want to do anything that may aggravate her or make her feel uncomfortable. I knelt above her and started stroking my cock, making sure she had a good view of what I was doing. She giggled and made little typical "Franish" comments like "ohhh niiicce!" and "oh my gooodddd..." and I remember how great if felt to finally be naked with her.

I was stroking hard at this point, and I told her I was going to come all over her asshole. I steered the head of my cock until it was less than an inch from the hole and debated pushing the tip in so I could cum inside of her but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I was having troubles bringing myself to climax so I began rubbing my nipples in the hopes I could explode all over her before she changed her mind or lost interest.

I woke up before either one of them happened.

The dream started off with a party in someones apartment on the second floor. I was dating my friend Hilary and we were all playing a game called 'How Well Do You Know Someone?' where one person has to guess what another person would say in a given situation (I'm guessing my subconscious was thinking of 'The Newlywed Game'). My ex-girlfriend Emily was there as well and we were getting along really well. However, every time I answered a correct quote about Hilary I could see her become upset with me. She seemed to be mad at the fact that I knew Hilary as well as I knew her.

At one point Emily left the room and one of the guys was commenting on how beautiful she was. I turned to my friend (I'm pretty sure it was my friend Dave G.) and said "How could he possibly think she is cuter than Hil? She is the hottest girl ever!"

He and I talked for a bit longer and I recall being so happy that I finally had a close male friend to talk and hang out with.

Somehow the apartment turned into the hotel and I was arguing with these three foreign men about making dinner reservations somewhere and I was so pissed off about having to be dealing with euro-trash as usual.

The dream then went back to the apartment where Dave and I were about to head out somewhere. As soon as we went downstairs and left the building I realized that I had left my glasses in his room. He gave me the keys to go back in and as I approached the staircase there was as mall boy there who was unable to get into his apartment. I walked him upstairs and got him to his door and I was happy that I had forgotten my glasses because otherwise the boy would have been stuck at the bottom of the staircase.

In the next part of the dream I was in a parking lot in front of my friend Tara H.'s apartment. I was playing around with the gas tank beneath the seat of her motorcycle and I found that if I lifted the seat a certain way it would allow the gas tank to fill up for free. The problem was that I wasn't sure of how to stop the gas from pouring, so after the tank was full the gas continued to pour out until a huge puddle had formed around me. When Tara came out I explained what was happening and she just smiled calmly and suggested we light a match and burn it up. I thought it was a terrible idea, but she lit it anyways.

Before she was able to ignite the puddle the entire city was hit with a flood and we spent a while wading in the waist-high water trying to get to higher ground. I was carrying something really heavy on my back and a guy beside me made me carry something else on my waist and I was so upset to be so weighed down.

In the last dream some friends and I were walking through an Asian families house and we couldn't figure out how to get out. I was separated from the rest of my group and ended up in the kitchen area where the mom poured water over some green grapes and it turned them into soap. She offered me the bowl and even though I didn't want any I took a big piece anyways just so I wouldn't offend her.

Eventually the rest of the group found me and we all left with little pieces of soap in our hands. We used it as we walked into a park across the street and it was awful so we threw it out and tried to find a water fountain so we could wash it off.

In the first dream I was in a house that sat on the side of a set of railroad tracks with a large fence that separated it from me and my neighbors. Looking back now it was very reminiscent of large dog kennels with the fences going all the way up to the house on each side and the top left open.

Each night a train would stop in front of the house to drop off the never ending flood of Albanian refugees who were seeking a place to stay. They would run up to the homes where people would open their gates and give them shelter for the night.

We were waiting for a friend to arrive on one of the trains (I believe it was an old acquaintance of mine from the Emily/Nikki/Kate circle named Jodi D.), and we had the house all set up to welcome her. There was a drummer playing along to songs karaoke style, and behind him was a large white screen that hung from the ceiling. On the screen we had random pictures of people in strange predicaments and their faces were removed so that one of us in the room could place our faces in the void instead. We laughed so hard at the various facial expressions I was making as we waited for our friend to arrive.

A short while later I went outside and waited for her in the darkness behind the fence. The first train pulled up and all of the refugees poured out like zombies, wandering up to all of the houses hoping for someone to open the fence. I tried my best to go unnoticed but one of them saw me and before I knew it they were everywhere. They began banging on my fence, and eventually they had started to climb up to the top where I was helpless to stop them. Just as the first one had successfully climbed over and jumped down next to me Kasia must have bumped me because I woke up pushing her away as if she was trying to get in as well.

In the next dream I had just punched in for my shift working in a wood shop. I was holding a piece of wood and as I brought it to my nose I inhaled deeply and said "Ahhhhh...there’s nothing like the smell of pine in the morning!"

I looked over to see Kramer from Seinfeld shopping in the aisles. He picked out a small storage bin and as he walked further down the aisle he kept finding bigger and bigger ones. Eventually he was looking at the storage boxes which held the storage boxes and I took him outside and said "You call than an office? Now THIS is an office!" as we stared at the huge tree fort of my place of employment in all its glory.

I turned around to find a large wooden house that was in complete disrepair, and a woman came outside to tell Kasia and I that the owner would like us to take some pictures of the house for her. I was so excited!

I was wading in the water next to a large rock formation and as I looked closer into the water I could see that the rock had been carved into feet. It was a large elephant stone and I realized I was in India. I climbed up to the top where I found my mom and dad amidst a crowd of people who were all participating in a game of some sort. As soon as they noticed I was there I was encouraged to be the next contestant, and before I knew it I was whisked off stage and taken to an area where I could change and get ready for the game.

I went into the bathroom and started peeing into this strange conglomeration of urinals that stood together in the middle of the room. My pee stream was stronger than I anticipated and I ended up peeing over the urinals and onto the door frame behind them. I finished up as quickly as I could before anyone came in and saw what I had done.

In the other dream Kasia and I were moving into a new apartment and we were busy packing things up in preparation for the move. While we were in the new apartment I came into the living room to discover a young man in his early twenties standing there with the front door open behind him. Kasia and I started yelling at him to “Get the f@ck out of our apartment” and as he left I followed him across the hall to see where he lived. When he opened his door and entered his apartment I could see a bunch of Asian guys all huddled up on a couch playing video games.

Later on I was walking down the street with an Asian friend of mine (no one I actually know) and I told him about this kid and his apartment, and my friend said "Oh yeah, that's where the Asian Kings live" (I can't recall the exact name of their gang now but it was similar to this). He went on to explain how they came into power and I was afraid of what they might do to me now that I chased one of their friends out of my apartment.

I was in a rehearsal for a Broadway show and since I had no idea what was going on I had to improvise. There was a part at the finale where there were these three circular platforms that spun around on one post and we were supposed to dance on all three of them but I got confused so I just held on to the middle pole until the end of the song.

Afterwards there was celebrating and happiness all around, and it felt great. I was laughing about having to hold onto the pole and the two friends I was with were very supportive and told me that I did great seeing at it was my first time on stage.

I went back to the dorms where everyone was living and as I walked down the hall it just felt right. I knew what I had to do.

I ran up to my two new friends and told them the good news: I was going apply for school and if I was accepted I would move into the dorms with them. I was going to be a Broadway performer.

More celebrating and happiness ensued and it was such a great feeling to have this new purpose in life and a new circle of friends.

Later on I wandered down the hall to one of the dorm rooms were everyone was staying and I was looking for some new underwear. Everyone came in as I was doing this and I could see the girls all looking down at me with these terrified eyes. As I walked back to the other dorm room I looked down to find that my dick was shriveled up to the point where just the head was peeking out of my body. I was horrified.

Later (when I was dressed and the embarrassment had worn off) a few of my new friends came running down to my room to tell me the good news: one of the classrooms has just gotten a big litter of puppies! Everyone ran out to see them while I put on my sandals and ran around trying to find my friend Michael B. so he could join us to see the puppies.

I was attending a church mass with my co-worker Jarrod and I was so relieved when he started joking around with me because I didn't want to be there and was happy he felt the same way. We ended up sneaking out and ended up in the back room of the church which acted as a thrift store. We tried to be quiet at first but we had to fill up my go-kart and charge the battery which made a loud noise when charging, so eventually we didn't care if everyone heard us. We were skipping church and we were proud of it. Jarrod even spotted an awesome silver go kart for $2000 and although it was way out of his price range we still considered buying it.

Somehow my old childhood friend Chris P. showed up and we rode a virtual reality ride together, which was still in the thrift store area. We made a few jokes and references to things that we did as kids and I was really excited about the prospects of being able to potentially hang out more with him and reminisce about the old days.

After all that I ended up in a banquet hall which had a huge fireplace, and as I walked by it I noticed there was an infant laying in the ashes. I quickly tugged it out by its legs and brushed the ash off of his little head. He was as tiny as a doll but heavy like a real baby and I remember laying it across my forearm with its head in my palm and thinking "Oh man, I am SO going to take care of this beautiful precious thing."

Afterwards I ran over to the restaurant where my friends Monica and Brian B.(Cassaundra's friend) were working, which in reality was on the corner of Varick and Carmine Street in the West Village. They were already on shift so we just made some jokes through the front door before I headed over to some building where I met back up with Jarrod.

He had a baby who he was taking care of as well, although it was much larger than mine. The baby kept falling down and hurting itself and I was thinking "Man, I am so glad my baby is so much cuter than this his."

The building soon filled up with people and we found ourselves in the midst of an enormous game of laser tag. It was awesome.

It started with a party up at a cottage that was part of a row of cottages set along a large lake in the middle of a forest. There were a ton of people around and everyone was watching TV and discussing various reality show characters. I proudly announced that I don't know a single one of the people they were talking about. A moment later someone turned on a baseball game so I went down by my mom's van which was near the dock and took a shower because my hair smelled.
Later I was in the kitchen of one of the cottages with my aunt Kathy Heckert. A woman who resembled my old neighbor Joan Uhlenbrauck was there with us and she was making fun of atheists. Kathy interrupted her and said "Hey, don't make fun of atheists-some of my closest friends are atheists."
"Exactly!" I shouted. "I am an atheist and I still love everyone, which is more than I can say about most religious people." Kathy and I traded glances and suddenly we were just a tad closer than we were a minute ago.

We ended up back outside and Kasia went out to the end of the dock and jumped onto a white stabilized raft which was anchored to the bottom of the lake. She jumped from raft to raft to get back to our cottage area a few houses down and everyone watched to see if she'd make it. She motioned for me to join her but I was wearing a slightly tight dress or skirt of some sort so I knew I wouldn't be able to jump as far as I needed to.

I was still out on the dock when suddenly I was stalked by a man who chased me to the end of the pier and once I couldn't go any further he asked "How do you feel about the war?"

"There is no war anymore!" I replied.

"How do you know?"

"Because I watch the news."

As I say this I begin to climb this big, thick rope that held a ship tightly to the dock and as I get further up the rope the old wooden worn out exterior of the ship began to break away, revealing a beautiful shiny new red exterior beneath it.

The man kidnapped me and we ended up taking the ship over to this big Utopian paradise where everyone wore flowers and robes (think "Hair: The Musical"). I ran ahead of the group and hid beneath the boards of a long, wooden bridge and everyone tried to find me as they walked over it.

The main kings, etc. walked right over me and I could hear them brainstorming about all the clever creative ways I could have hidden myself. At the end of the line a commoner/simpleton looked down and noticed me. I smiled and jumped out and told him "Its a lot easier than that, guys- you just have to stop thinking too much."

At the end of the bridge everyone began to dance and march in a big circle and somehow I ended up in the middle of the line so I decided to go the opposite direction in order to catch up with the main guys in the front. Everyone marching was looking at me with eyes that said "You're going the wrong way!" but I didn't care- I knew I wouldn't get into trouble because it was apparent that I was now their king.

(And no, I did NOT watch "Where the Wild Things Are" last night) =)

I was in my old bedroom in the basement of my parents' house on Hemlock Lane and Kasia was lying on the waterbed with my old friend Melissa C. They were laughing and giggling and I was preoccupied with something else when Kasia says "So we have a surprise for you! We've been planning this for a long time now, and I think it's about time to tell you." I said "Okaaayyyy." trying to sound pessimistic but secretly hoping for the best. " One of these days we want you to buy us ice cream, but we won't be using it to eat."

They smiled their mischievous smiles and I grinned a dream-come-true grin.

Melissa was just laying there smiling so beautifully and I thought to myself "Who knows if this will ever really happen. All I know is that they are willing to RIGHT NOW so I had better jump on this opportunity while they are both still willing." I crawled on top of Mel and started kissing her with the deepest, most sensual kiss I could muster up, and before I knew it we were undressing ourselves and preparing to fuck like rabbits. I stood up to try and get my shirt off but it was much too tight so Kasia had to pull on my sleeves until the shirt was practically ruined.

I didn't care. I wanted to taste her immediately. I fell back onto the bed and resumed kissing her, my hand slowly moving down to gently pinch her nipples and eventually sliding down to caress the inner folds of her wet swollen lips. I recall thinking how strange it was to touch another woman's body, and how I actually disliked how awkward it was to not know her body as well as Kasia's. I like the comfort of being with the same body for many years because you know exactly what to do with it.

My mouth went south and latched onto her right nipple, and I softly sucked and licked while my eyes gazed at Kasia. I wanted her to look at me and see me checking her out but her eyes were too busy watching our hands and bodies dance and move around like ballerinas on a stage.

Suddenly there was a noise outside of my door and I thought my mom had decided to do some laundry, as the machines are right outside of my room. I jumped out of bed and flew to the door, turning the lock just as someone had attempted to turn the knob.

*Knock* *Knock* "Hello?" It was my Uncle Ron.

"Ummm... Hey Uncle Ron! I'll be out later!"

I could hear scrambling behind me. Panic. Clothes being frantically thrown back on. It was the sound of dreams coming to an end and I didn't like it.

The door popped open and there stood my uncle and cousin, smiles galore and not a clue as to what they were ruining. I could see my uncle's reaction as he noticed the two girls behind me and I looked at him and said "I said I will be out LATER."

I closed the door and turned around, ready to make the most important reassurance speech of my life. "Don’t worry, they won't come back in. It's fine." etc. etc.

I was able to get Mel to remove her clothes again, and even though I knew we would have to finish the session with a bit more urgency, I still wanted nothing more than to taste every inch of her.

As she laid back down on the bed she took out these little gloves that had these little pads on the fingertips which vibrated when pressure was applied. I put one on and began massaging her g-spot as my mouth found its way back to her nipples. Eventually she took the glove and began using it on herself, and I thought it would be a nice opportunity to continue exploring with my free hand.

I slowly went around and started massaging her butt cheeks with my hand, and just as my fingers were about to make it around to her asshole the door reopened and a little girl came in to say hello. I jumped up and pushed her out of the room, and as I closed the door I noticed everyone outside just sitting around a table in the dark talking and waiting for me to come out.

I slammed the door shut but it kept popping back open, and I quickly realized that it was broken. I slammed it a few more times just to let them all know that I was upset, and as I laid back down I knew this session wasn't going to go any further until possibly another time.

I remember telling myself that I wouldn’t be using ice cream when that day came either. I wouldn't want it to mask the tastes and smells of her.

The future couldn't come soon enough.

Kasia, Amanda, Cassaundra, LoAnJo and I had all made it over to Amanda's house (yes, she had a house!) and we were all just laughing and doing random stuff. I had been laying on her couch, and eventually Cassaundra came over and laid down next to me. Kasia had gone upstairs to the bathroom and LoAnJo and Amanda were in the other room, and suddenly I found myself cupping Cassaundra’s breasts and giving them little squeezes over her shirt.

Eventually we all made our way upstairs to the bedrooms and I went into the bathroom to change into my jogging pants so we could go to bed. Amanda and LoAnJo were on one bed and Cassaundra, Kasia and I were on the other. Kasia got up to go to the bathroom and before I knew it, Cassaundra had pulled the sheet up to her neck and I wasted no time in reaching down and pulling her shirt and bra up over her breasts so I could play with her nipples.

The next thing I know we are all wandering through the house of some African American family and we were trying to figure out how to get out without making it obvious that someone was in their house. We had made our way to the patio door and just before I awoke we were deciding whether or not we would run out or just casually walk out through the neighbor's yards and back onto the street.

It started off with me and a bunch of friends eating dinner up on the top floor of this huge house. There was a couple sitting next to us and for some reason I got into an argument with this woman. The situation ended with her leaving the house after making all these threats against me, and I knew she was serious. I ended up going down a few floors and monitoring the street from a window because I was convinced she was going to return with a gun and shoot me.

Moments later I saw her pull up in front of the house and what I had expected to be a gun in her hand turned out to be a Molotov cocktail, which she threw with perfect precision into the window of the second floor. Somehow this house had turned into a performance center and the next thing I recall is being naked in the hallway and I was scrambling to find some sorts of clothing in the coat closets.

Eventually I found myself in the foyer with Kasia and friends and as I went around hugging and kissing everyone, her friend Kesha cautiously hugged me and laughingly quipped "Don't even THINK of biting my nipples again!"

Ahhh...the confusing joys of unconsciousness!

I was cleaning my parents' garage and someone had a really nice car but it was taking up too much room so I folded it up until it was the size of a vacuum. Whomever I was cleaning with had mentioned that he was sorry that he would have to leave the keys in it, which were just dangling in the ignition.

Later I was at a concert and I sat in the orchestra section with my old neighbor Tim Brennan and one other friend (although I can't recall who). At some point I realized that my parents and sisters were up in the balcony so we all rushed up to be with them. On our way up you could hear a popular Ratt song starting to play so we scrambled even faster up the stairs.

When we reached the top my family was in the front row and once we sat down all of them started laughing and joking and it was disrupting everyone behind us who were trying to watch the concert.

At some point a woman came onstage and started throwing these snowball-sized balls of compacted powder into the crowd, and the trick was to catch it and throw it again without it breaking and then you'd win a prize. I must have caught about five of them but they broke upon catching them every time.

After the show my parents drove me home but it was all a blur and I woke up in the middle of the night only to find all the streets surrounding my house filled with cops. They had apparently just apprehended a guy and they were screaming at him and beating him as they forced him over to the police van. I scrambled to find my camcorder but gave up looking once I saw that he has been put in the van already.

I left my apartment and started wandering around the city but it was still dark and too early for anything to be open. Eventually I found this art exhibit where this man had designed hundreds of those old saloon doors and they had lined them up so you had to walk through all of them before you could exit.

As I pushed through them as fast as I could I could hear Ira Glass (the host of This American Life) interviewing this artist and talking about how he remembered speaking with him when he first started the project.

I pushed through the last of the doors and found myself in this small room. From the interview I knew that one of the walls was fake so I pushed on them until I found the one which opened and let me outside.

When I got outside I found myself in a junkyard filled with old motorcycles and a bitter old man was standing there as I exited, as if he was waiting for me the entire time.

"Get off my property, and then call this organization and tell them to lock that wall because you are all trespassing. This is private property."

I jumped onto the railroad tracks that ran through the backyard but there was a fence preventing me from leaving. Behind me the man continued his rant, and calmly, as if spoken by Clint Eastwood, I said "You just mind your own business and I'll mind mine."

There was a small sign that read "Caution: Electric Fence" and although I thought it was a bluff I still continued looking for a gap or a way to jump over it because I didn't want to discover that it wasn't.